Beautiful Things

Never before seen footage...

2012-02-08T12:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life goes by too fast, and I never get to post things I want to... Here's to some very random, somewhat funny, never before seen footage...

Note to self: ALWAYS KNOW WHERE YOUR CAMERA IS.

White sheep of the family... ;)

Yep... I own a Chitange (cha-tan-gay) I am THAT missionary. No.. I'm not... I promise NOT to wear it in the US when speaking. haha.

(Not that there's anything wrong with that and all)

Z's artwork coming right along... It's baby Jesus and the 3 wise men.

(oh, 4 wise men... maybe it's a shepard?)

Never underestimate the power of boys in the kitchen...

Love that my kids can go hang out in the "not so nice places" and think it's cool.

Yep, that's Impala hinds (booty) in the fridge.

Sweetness I don't want to forget.

Who needs to see a giraffe when you have a tongue like that?

Our Thanksgiving Day surprise...

Need to laugh? Call up this kid...

And you thought your school cafeteria was bad... ;)

The many shoes found outside our house on any give Sunday afternoon...

I don't know where they get that...

Faces of the Future...

2012-02-06T13:06:00.000-08:00

In January, we added a new preschool class of 20- 5 year olds. We had over 100 applications for these 20 slots. These children were prayed over and we know that they are meant to be at our school.

I am so grateful to get to walk through life with these children... to watch them grow.

I wanted to share with you some of them... They are all in need of sponsors, since they just joined our school! If you'd like to know more about sponsorship, you can leave me a comment or email me!

Enjoy these cute faces!

wings like Eagles...

2012-02-04T22:16:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm starting to realize I probably shouldn't post a post like the last one and wait too long for a follow up post.

The last post was a reflection of the pull our family had been feeling for the first few months. However, while we were in the "heat" of that, I didn't even have the ability to put it to words. Once we started being more proactive, it provided enough space for me to verbalize where we had been the past few months during our adjustment. (not that our adjustment is over... I've been told by a friend here the first 3 years are trial and error...)

Right now, we are moving through the "valley" onto "higher ground". We feel ourselves getting stronger. We see that our family is our most valuable ministry tool. We are gaining wisdom to know when to say No and when to say Yes. And even then, we still won't do it perfectly.

In the meantime, we have restored our home as a place for our family. We've found a balance that works for us in work, LS kids, and our family. We believe that it is Biblical.

I simply didn't want to leave you in the messy part. While the mess will still exist... because living here just requires the ability to live in the unpredictable... We wanted to give God credit for sorting through our stuffs (that's the way Zambians say stuff) and giving us the strength we need to make changes that are necessary. (because emotionally it isn't easy)

That's real time. Right now we are feeling your prayers and are grateful. We feel like our family is hitting a routine: working at the school, homeschooling, time as a family, time as extended family (253+), etc. We are feeling refreshed (for the most part) and have finally found our pace. Just pray we can maintain it through the many needs and things that are life here on a daily basis.

We love each of you and please know we have the most joyous life here...

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

ps... Pray for KG, she has malaria for the 3rd time already. The rains are heavy and the mosquitos are horrible. She seems much better this morning.

Messy Missions...

2012-01-23T03:31:00.000-08:00

(I've been trying to write this blog post for a week now. I'm having a little writers block because my processing of everything around me is going a little numb. ha. This may be heavier than you want, and sometimes I read it and think someone with schizophrenia must have written it because it's all over the place, but hey... enjoy the tornado...)

You know, before we moved to Zambia, we thought we "had it all together" when it came to orphan ministry. After all, we were working for one of the largest mission sending organizations in the world... and were marinated in the American world of "orphan care." So... surely, we should have a little heads up, right?

This reminds me of college. I spent a total of 6 years in school after high school. After I received my Master's in Clinical Social Work... surely THEN I would be prepared for the job, right? (please catch the sarcasm). I remember spending my first year, with a full caseload of over 150 mentally ill clients thinking "What in the world am I doing?" After 7 years of working in the mental health profession, I realized all I DIDNT know... and learned a few things along the way. So... yes... this is pretty much the same thing.

You can spend months training, reading, speaking to others, seeking support (all of which are very worthwhile and lifesavers) But NOTHING prepares you for life on the field, except that... life on the field. What was "best practice" in America looking into the field has now become very blurry. The ideas... and the practical execution... 2 different things.

So... wow. Here we are.

Words to describe our first 4 months:

emotionally overwhelming: both good and bad

learning boundaries

heartbreaking

little family time

full of vision

heartbreaking

and last but not least...

LIFECHANGING

Don't get me wrong... This isn't meant to be negative AT ALL. When I think about our first 4 months, I think it is a mixture of the greatest joy and the greatest sorrow. It's simply amazing how the two mix.

But I say this because I've been asked privately "how are you all REALLY doing?" The truth is that it's all a little messy right now. What's the right balance between family life and missions? How do you set boundaries, and what are they to be? What's the balance between giving your life away and destroying it all in the same token. Of course, we all have our AMERICAN ideals as to what the answers are... but ultimately, lived out... it's a lot messier than that.

Balancing this....

and this...

with this...

Your idea of how family should look is built upon culture.

Your idea of how family should function is built on culture.

Your idea of how much family time... or even the concept of "family time" is cultural.

Is it necessary to remain healthy? Yes... but ultimately the Bible must be our source.

To say this... we've felt swallowed whole by need. EVERYONE has needs around us. And we are learning that just because we COULD meet the need, doesn't mean we always SHOULD. We are learning. Of course, it's easy to apply that to adults. Try applying that to children. That's the blurry part.

When I look at the life of Christ, ultimately, he gave his life away. And we are trying to do the same, while still very much loving each other in the meantime.

The past few months have been difficult for us, the learning curve is HUGE, (and honestly, if you've never lived in a a foreign country for a long period of time, you can't understand) and we are praying for grace to be extended to us... grace for us to give each other in our marriage... grace to give to our children and them to us... grace from our many employees at our home and school... grace from our fellow teammates... grace from our supporters at home... grace from our families in the US... lots and lots of grace. We aren't going to do this perfectly, but God will give us the grace and strength we need to do it the best we can. The truth is, our family will never look like it did when we lived in America... and I'm grateful for that.

Besides, I don't want to live the kind of life that I could do on my own... "apart from me, you can do nothing."

If there were no Lifesong...

2012-01-07T01:40:00.000-08:00

We are just completing our (the McBs) 1st end of year break. It was one month. Some would think that with school being out, things would be easier here... a little slower. We've found this to be the opposite. I've found myself over the last month consistently concerned about our Lifesong children while on "holiday."

I have seen some in the streets, at the market... and they look different. They look tired, hungry, and more dirty than usual. Especially the younger ones. One of Z's good friends at school, Dennis, came to visit a couple of days. He reeked of urine, as his clothes hadn't been washed in days. He was hungry, but so happy to be in our home. Dennis is the #1 student in his class.

Clement, a 14 year old with major hearing impairment (anyone out there know someone who could hook us up with a cochlear implant?) had malaria and was hospitalized over the break.

(Clement is the 2nd from the left in the white shirt)

Richard, a young man who lives with his older sister... yet she's been gone for a month, has been able to work on the farm to help him buy food during this "holiday" break.

During this break, one of our brightest students showed up at our home after being beaten by his step-father. He now lives on campus with our foster family and is learning what it is like to be in a good family.

If there were no Lifesong...

Many children wouldn't eat

Some children would die from malaria and other diseases because of no medical care

children would remain in abusive and neglectful environments

and there would be many of our caregivers without a way to earn a living.

During this break, I was able to see what their life would be like if they were not given the opportunity to go to school. It means more than education... for some, it means life.

So grateful I get to be a part of making a difference... and for those of you partnering with us, you can rest assured you are joining us in making a difference too.

... stories are still being written...

2012-01-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

Hey dear friends! I don't have much time to write. Power & water has been off and on for a week and we have no internet... unless I go searching and bumming for it. (like right now)

I had such great visions for this blog... how I would be able to share everything, all that God was doing here... with you.

Obviously, that's been a little unpredictable. Power, time, and... oh yeah... did I say power... has proven to hamper this little blog of mine. But, what I want you to know is that God is still writing stories. He's writing them every day. Over the last week, we've celebrated, cried, been frustrated, been reminded of our need for God and his strength. Over and over... God is making beauty from ashes... I wish I had time to share them with you now... but until then, continue to pray for us, for our family, and for our children. We start school again this next week (they work on calendar year) and we are so excited about what God has in store for our children... all 218++ this year. Pray God blesses this week! Much love and prayers to each of you!

Welcoming Jesus...

2011-12-23T12:37:00.000-08:00

Thousands of years ago, the world didn't know what they were about to behold...

The shepherds were going about their business

The inn keeper was busy preparing for the many people

Bethlehem was bustling and unknowingly standing on the hours of birthing the Savior

But then... He came, and everything changed.

(this pic hangs on our fridge drawn by Ngosa in grade 5)

This year, I find myself preparing for the celebration of the first coming, with GREAT anticipation for the second coming. While in his first coming, that first Christmas... he brought us HOPE and SALVATION... and REDEMPTION. But I am longing for the moment that He comes again and makes ALL THINGS NEW... or BEAUTIFUL.

The past few months have changed me. I continue to be changed. Sara Groves says "your pain has changed me"... and yes, it's true. It's changed my view on Christmas. I celebrate deeply the coming of our LORD... BOTH the past and the future coming.

This Christmas I'm celebrating in the Hope to come...

no hungry bellies

no abusive parents

no death

no orphans

no disease

no thieves

no pain

Everything.New.

So, this Christmas... I will celebrate the gift of life He has given us in this time... and the gift of making all things new in the future.

Merry Christmas! Celebrate the Hope we have in Jesus!

No escape...

2011-12-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

I remember having the luxury of "forgetting" or "escaping" every once in a while, the need or the plight of the orphan. We've been involved in this "line of work" for a while now, and I remember "taking a break" from it. Or... coming home at night, flipping on the TV, visiting friends, or life OUTSIDE of "work."

Now, Life is work... ministry.

There's no escaping.

When you wake, you are preparing yourself for the day of needs.

When you go about your day, you are emotionally/physically/spiritually available for those with needs.

When you are at home, they are there too.

When you eat your dinner, you are wondering if they have food.

When you lay your head down at night, you are praying for safety for those you love... The ones you love who live so vastly different than you.

There's no "only need on that side of town" kind of option. It is everywhere.

Even when you "get away for a couple of hours"... maybe to town, or to a park... they come too... in your heart and mind. There is no escape. Once you know them, love them, feed them, and become like a mother to them... there is no escape.

I'm grateful. While it is one of the heaviest burdens I've ever had to bare, I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to see Jesus work in their lives, and in mine, each and every day. I'm grateful that I don't have to go far to live out the gospel. That I can choose to see Jesus in a real and new way. And I'm sure He is capable of carrying not only me, and my heavy burdens for the many children I love... but He is carrying them too.

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him..." Ps 145: 14-18

A message from Zack...

2011-12-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

The other day I went into the kids room and found Z writing this message. I think it might have been just for me. Just wanted to share it with you, because I know there are days we really need to just sit and remember this....

"God you are mighty and strong."

Giving Thanks...

2011-11-23T20:05:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving... it's one of my favorite holidays. It's the beginning of the official "holiday" season. It reminds me of cool weather in Tennessee, and the best food you could imagine.

The day before Thanksgiving, I usually get a new hair cut. (Don't ask me why, it's just what I do). We usually are with family. Shane goes squirrel hunting (unsuccessfully of course), just for the memory. Me and the kids watch the Macy Day parade, and then I help my mom decorate the tree. We over indulge in all things yummy! It's super awesome!

We end the day in a huge family meal, recalling what we are thankful for and usually take a minute to remember those who are "less fortunate" as my dad says.

This year... Thanksgiving changes.

While it usually gives off this warm and fuzzy feel, this year I find myself on.my.knees. in thanksgiving.

"Father, God... You are so mighty. Thank you for being my Father. Thank you for being our provider, our comforter, our healer. Thank you for the presence of your spirit in our lives. Thank you for your calling upon our lives to change us... to change our Thanksgiving. Father, forgive me of where I do NOT thank you when I should. Forgive me of when I do not recognize the gifts you give, regardless of the packaging. Forgive me of wanting something more than what you have blessed me with. Now, Father... I pray for those who I love. Our family and friends. I pray that you would bless them with a wonderful day celebrating. I pray you would bring remembrance to their hearts for all you have done. God, we pray for those we love here... our new family. Father, I pray that you would meet their needs today. God, provide them food at home. Father, give them health. Please find a way to love each heart today. Help us to give your love so that they can indeed be thankful regardless of their circumstances. Lord, you are mighty and strong. Without you, our work is meaningless. We thank you for the ability to lift up our prayers and thanksgiving to you. Amen."

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The faces I live with...

2011-11-22T10:17:00.000-08:00

*here is my disclaimer... I never intended to be a horrific blogger. I thought I would blog all the time here... afterall, I do have quite the stories to tell. However, fighting the unpredictable power, lightening strikes taking out internet, flooding in the house, balanced delicately with a very full schedule of responsibilities, blogging has proven to be difficult. :/

These are some of the faces I live with. We so often find ourselves looking at pictures, but don't fully know the child behind them.

I can say, knowing makes it all the more beautiful and painful. I never knew that the two could mix so amazingly strong... but I'm finding the true beauty of contrast: light and darkness... joy and sorrow... rejoicing and suffering.

Missionary Mom...

2011-11-11T03:21:00.000-08:00

Well, one thing is for sure, when I envisioned being a mom, I certainly never envisioned raising children in Africa. While, yes, I've always felt a strong calling to missions, I kinda thought that would be my "single life" occupation. But, raising kids on the "mission field?" NOT.A.CHANCE.

After all, *Most*MKs are kinda weird, right? (sorry if you are one... but let's be honest)

I thought my efforts in raising my children would be revolving around:

*where to send them to school?

*what kind of birthday party will we have?

*Christmas pictures... oh what to wear?

*what type of cupcakes should I send to class?

Instead they are:

*heavy education of snakes and spiders, and the like...

*shopping consists of traipsing through the local outdoor market...

*praying that NO ONE has to go to the bathroom anywhere other than HOME... and even that, some days, is risky.

*learning what kind of new skin funk we have this week...

*and explaining the really hard things in life: death, disease, poverty...

While my day to day thoughts, as a "Missionary Mom" v. "Mom in the suburbs", have certainly changed, my desire for my children hasn't. I'm just praying they grow up to love Jesus and live that out in whatever way He's equipped them to. (Ok, and I'm praying they don't turn out a little...ahem... strange)

Best.Date.Ever.

2011-11-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

So, there's so many wonderful things about living in Zambia. One of those things is that there is NEVER A DULL MOMENT. It's quite up my alley!
The other night, our sweet roomie, Leslie, gave Shane and I a date night by watching our kiddos while we went out to eat at a little restaurant in town. On our way out, we had about 4 boys to drop off near the compound. Shane and I had fun explaining to them what a "date" was, and how important it is for men to love their wives. Anyway, they laughed and thought we were funny.
We drop them off at the compound, and are immediately approached by 2 of the piece workers on our farm. They said, "Shane, we have emergency, my wife is having a baby." Shane said "like, right now?" "yes!" he said. They wanted us to take them to the clinic. Of course, we say YES! So, we drive through the compound (talk about sticking out like a sore thumb... NO ONE DRIVES IN THE COMPOUND HARDLY) ... and arrive at the one room shack... truly the size of an oversized bathroom. ... The men go in, and a second later, one of them comes out with a huge wadded blanket... WITH A BABY IN IT! He gets in the car... and Shane and I are FREAKING OUT! "Um... did she just have that baby?!?!?!" "Yes, about an hour ago..." he laughed. Shane and I are kinda not knowing what to do at this point.
The husband comes out and says, "Well, she is unable to walk right now, so she will need to go to the clinic tomorrow." We paid for a nurse to come and check her out... dropped off the men at the market so they could buy some items, and went on our way.
Needless to say, the dinner conversation was NOT the HIGHLIGHT of this date...
Can't wait to see what happens next time.

Glimpse of Redemption...

2011-10-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

My Redeemer... My sweet Jesus. He is certainly about making whole, making beauty out of ashes, and filling any gaps, scars, and holes that a sinful world has left marked on His children.

Today, I saw it for my own eyes. It was such a beautiful outward display of what is in the hearts of two boys. Boys that have lived through the death of both their father and their mother. Boys that have wondered "what will happen to my life now?" Yet, they are boys who have experienced REDEMPTION, grace, and LOVE... They have experienced the hands and feet of Jesus in their lives through LifeSong. They see that there is more to life than the hopelessness they see around them. They acknowledge that God has a plan for their lives, and they want to follow him.

Just yesterday, we took them to get some clothes (which we need to do for most of the kids)... and Haggai had some extra money left over. He could have spent it on another pair of socks, or food for himself. However, He bought apples with it and gave it to the street boys at the market. He didn't do this to receive praise... but rather it was out of love and gratitude for what God's provision has given him... and so he has decided to share it with those around him in need.

Redemption... now being spilled out of one broken soul to the next. They will see Jesus in them. I know it. Because I see it.

These boys are wanted...

Loved...

Desired...

Chosen...

Made New...

and Redeemed...

"Who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with love and compassion."

Ps 103:4

Adoption ... redefined...

2011-10-28T22:05:00.000-07:00

Adoption... it's such a buzz word these days. What I find kinda humorous is that people in Zambia have NO IDEA that there are so many Americans wanting to adopt. It's kinda strange to step out of one culture (the adoption/orphan care world) and step into another culture (one ravished with disease, poverty, and many orphans). It's like one world was made to penetrate the other, only the need is so deep and so wide, that it never fully will.

I used to think that Adoption was something that was concrete, set in stone, legal.... acknowledge by the governments. But what I'm finding is that adoption can be different than that, especially in this culture... actually is just what's in your heart... how it overflows from love of the father onto children around you in need. It's CHOOSING, TAKING IN, ACCEPTING, MAKING

ONE's OWN.

While many... no most... maybe none... of these children will ever be a McB on paper... I'm certain that they will feel CHOSEN, TAKEN IN, ACCEPTED, AND part of US... OUR FAMILY. There surely is power in that... and it sounds like adoption... with a different face.

1. To take into one's family through legal means and raise as one's own child.

a. To take and follow (a course of action, for example) by choice or assent: adopt a new technique.

b. To take up and make one's own: adopt a new idea.

3. To take on or assume: adopted an air of importance.

4. To vote to accept: adopt a resolution.

5. To choose as standard or required in a course: adopt a new line of English textbooks.

backwards...

2011-10-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

When you think that you are the one giving... you find that really you are the one receiving.

My heart is full.

This is what our home looks like on a Sunday...

Meet something beautiful...

2011-10-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

Because I am the WORST.BLOGGER.EVER. I have decided to give you a glance at some of the beautiful things that makes up our week...

Please forgive me... but there have been several power outages, I'm gonna blame that. ;)

So... welcome to the inside of our week...and our kids...

On Wednesdays, we go into the compound (village) to visit homes... super glad our kiddos can come and experience ministering to others alongside us...

These are 3 of our teachers that were visiting with us, and delivering food.

Felt kinda crazy one evening and taught some of the kids what bowling is... awesomeness...

A, N, C, E, C... boys at school being silly...

Boys will be boys no matter where they grow up.... ;)

"Football" game today. (I'm practically Zambian calling it football) Tie 1-1. This is "T." He has a hard life, but a ton of potential... pray for God to soften his heart.

This is "Y"... she is a beautiful girl who LOVES playing Volleyball. :) We played across my clothesline today with a flat soccer ball. ha. She's a gal that will benefit from our FGO party we hosted a few months ago. ;)

The kids LOVE to read to us in English. It's one of our favorite things too. I love introducing quality reading, like Francis Chan's children books.

Meet KG's best friend... "W" She is one of the most fun gals here at LS.

(and yes, it's been a month since my hair has seen a blow dryer or hairspray... so don't judge me)

Crazy blessed, and I promise to do better in sharing with with you all!! God is doing so much... each and every day... it blows me away. Whether it is taking a burned baby to the hospital, giving away our food to kids as they leave our homes knowing they are hungry, or singing with them each and every morning before school... we know God is present and working in ALL things. We love you all!!

Against my instinct...

2011-10-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

Since arriving in Zambia, I've been continually in a place of conflict within my mothers heart. So many things that are " just life" here continually shatter my mother's instinct.

It is NOT ok with me as a mother to see children I love...

wear the same outfit all week long... dirty or not

walk out of my house, an hour before dinner, and I not know if they have food waiting on them wherever they are going...

to walk home in the rain

to work their fingers to the bone when they should be playing

I knew I always believed this... but more and more I see it clearly. Kids were made to be in families. Moms and Dads were made to love their children.

I love my 3+215... and this breaks.my.heart... BUT... I love them NOTHING like my Father does...

Behind these amazing smiles... is so much heartbreak... so much unknown... a desire for more.

praying the Father can use this mother to... you guessed it... "Love like Crazy!"

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Ps 147:3

Made to be Courageous...

2011-10-09T06:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you have all heard about the movie Courageous that is now in theaters. Obviously, I won't be seeing that anytime soon. ;) However, I've loved the song by Casting Crowns... that coupled with Dennis Rainey's newest book, Stepping Up, has gotten me to thinking.

When I married Shane, I knew for sure I was getting "the real deal." I often joked that he was the loaded Lexus SUV... only God added things that I LOVE but didn't even know I desired beforehand. You know that feeling? You know, when you buy something and then discover something hidden or super awesome about it that you didn't know beforehand? SWEET!

Well, Shane has turned out to be quite the courageous man. Many would look and think that it may be irresponsible to move your family to a land of malaria and deadly snakes. Some would say that it is not wise to live as we do financially, dependent on a team of other believers to partner with us.

This isn't where we thought we would be. Shane thought we were going to live out our Christian lives in a nice little suburb dubbed as "one of the best places to raise a family." Great schools. Great food. Great sports. Great church.

Over time, though, I saw Shane and his plan for our family decrease. I saw him struggle to loosen the grip of control and give his most valuable possession: us... to His Father. I saw him wrestle with trusting God to provide over his own ability. I see his self reliance decrease and his dependence on God increase.

This takes courage. It takes courage to depend on something you cannot see, trust something so powerful, and walk your family into a place you do not fully know... all because God says "Go." My husband is a man of courage.

What I thought I wanted was a man who could provide me with security, provisions, and a safe life. But what God provided me with was a man who was full of courage... not of his own accord, but of Gods... courage that flows only from a full trust of the Father. I'm so unbelievably grateful that my man is willing to live out what He was created for. And so I say... SWEET! Who knew he was loaded with courage? That all along that was what he was MADE for... and what I DESIRED?

I can't imagine life any other way...

Ministry around the table...

2011-10-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is J. He's quite the cutie. I remember meeting him in April, because I thought he had the most beautiful eyes. Little did I know that he would be at the house every day.

Let me tell you what I know about J. He's 9 years old and in the 2nd grade. He lives with his mother, who works for us on the strawberry farm. He also lives with his 2 brothers and 1 sister, all who are older than he is. J struggles a bit in school, mostly with his rowdy behaviors.

Early this morning, they were outside playing and I had my kiddos come in because it was time for school. J stuck around, without my knowing. :) I went out to get towels off the line and there he was... sitting on our back steps. I said "J, didn't i ask you to go home?" He didn't answer, but replied "I will help you." And he began getting the towels off the line.

-insert here: now... I'm well aware at how sweet this sounds... but also, we are learning that we have to MAKE the kids go home... or they WONT! haha-

I said, "Well, if you want to help, then come in. " I then had him and Z fold the towels. ha. I then said, "if you are staying, then you have to participate in school with us." He agreed. And he did! I told him that I knew he struggled with listening at school. He grinned and said "I make too much noise." I said, "Well, today, I'm sure you will do just fine." And he did. He has great handwriting, but is clearly behind in some other areas.

As I sat and watched my kids learning with J sitting at the table learning, too, I just became full. While some would be annoyed by his presence, I'm asking God to show me how to influence and see into his heart... so that we can help him in school. I've seen parts of his heart... and it is sweet.

As (home) school came to a close, and lunch approached, I said "J, it is time for you to go home. I'm going to give you a banana, and then you have to go. If you obey, you are welcome to come back tomorrow." He agreed and left right away. This is another behavior that he has struggled with at school: obedience, specifically around going home. First, I'm praying that God will give me more time so that I can gain a bigger glance into what "home" is like for J. I'm hoping that over time, trust is built and boundaries are set in place to help him grow into a Godly young man.

So... you can join me in praying for J... and for the influence our family might make on his life.

(on a side note... and much lighter side... the kids came running in this am after breakfast and said "there's a black mamba in the yard!" We all go running out the door and see, indeed, there is a black snake "swimming" across our mud puddle. Shane grabs a hoe and chops it up. The ladies working on the farm then inform us that it isn't a black mamba... but a spitting cobra instead. Oh good, that makes me feel a lot better. ???!?!?!?!)

"It's Malaria..."

2011-10-04T12:32:00.000-07:00

Those are the words that I hoped I wouldn't have to hear for at least a year or so, as we get settled in to our new home in Zambia. Actually, it was one of my biggest fears in bringing my children to Africa.

On Sunday night, KG started running a fever... no other symptoms. On Monday morning, she still had her fever and we took her to a clinic about 30 minutes away. It is the best clinic and medical care you can get in this area. They did a finger prick and blood test, and the Dr. brought us back into her office and said "It's Malaria.." She went on to describe the treatment, and what we needed to be aware of. Wow. Malaria? Didn't I spray them obsessively when they were out past 5? Am I not the one who continuously obsesses over the door being closed? Don't they sleep under a net? Aren't we taking a preventative medication for malaria? YES! AND YET...It was time to face my fear head.on.

(KG under to mosquito net the first night in Zambia)

While the potential for "freak out" was pretty high, I have to say that we were "ok." I can't explain it other than God's grace is sufficient... His word is true.

KG really was a trooper. She's been whining and not sleeping the best, but otherwise doing pretty good. We are hopeful the medications we have (which cost us a total of $15) will rid her of malaria. We are to go back next week for a test and hope it comes back negative. Ultimately, it was a mild case. However, there are SO.MANY. MOSQUITOS in our home! We aren't sure if they are getting in through screens that aren't working well, or through the "vent" system... which is just holes drilled... without any screens that we can tell. Either way... just pray that we can find the source and get it fixed asap.

I can't help but think... ultimately, without 1. Parents to notice she wasn't well 2. Access to medical care 3. Ability to pay for the medication : She could have very well DIED from it.

3,000 children die each day from Malaria.

We.are.blessed.

Meet My Neighbors...

2011-09-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

"Love your neighbor as yourself..." Jesus. (Luke 10:27)

Today I was afforded the opportunity to walk into the "Zambia Compound" to visit a home of a child, sweet C, who attends our school. The compound is something like a squatter village, with many homes that house over 2,000 children in our area. Our home is about .5 mile from this compound. Those who live within it... they are my neighbors.

I have been in the compound before, by car, but never by foot. I walked with E and Z, along with visiting Vision Team members.

I cast my eyes upon children... every which way that I looked. I saw children with no clothes... I saw a mother struggle to carry her twins: one on the front and one on the back... I saw a little boy who had a bad cut on his face, needing a mother's care. I saw children tending to themselves with their mothers laying lifeless under a tree. We encountered men who had clearly had too much of something, and were aggressive with the children we love. I met a mother who has 4 biological children, and is caring for her dead sisters 2 children. She has no job. She has no husband. The oldest child is deaf and mute. Yet she says "Without Jesus Christ, I could not face these trials."

It simply isn't right. For us to live as if this does not exist, and for me to live as if they are not my neighbor... is wrong. To not love them as Jesus would is a reflection of a hardened heart.

So... meet my neighbors...

And so...

"... who is my neighbor?" (Luke 10:29)

A little glimpse...

2011-09-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

Our first night in Africa... it was a sweet time, blessed with a beautiful sunset! (like every night)

The walk down our road to and from the school... it's a beautiful walk, and a beautiful thing to see my children walk the roads with such amazing people!

The kids were a bit overwhelmed at first, with 215 kids staring them down. In the words of KG "it was kinda crowdy." ha. BUT, since then, E has attended class, KG has found several playmates, and Z has been to basket weaving cla

ss 2 days! (plus they are all getting spoiled by the older kids!)

We are so blessed to live among the only strawberry farm in Zambia! That's Lifesong Farm! You can click here to see more. The kids LOVE it!

A little story and some prayer...

I wanted to ask you to pray for P. He is a little boy that is Z's age who is constantly sick. He was at school with his mother yesterday, as she wanted him to see the nurse at school. I was asked to sit in on the visit to possibly help from a social work standpoint. You see, little P is suspected to be HIV +. However, his mother denies this greatly and has up to this point refused to get him tested. I sat down next to P and another team member. Our nurse, Christabell (who ROCKS), had a heart to heart with the mother. She said "do you want your child to die?" The mother hung her head and eventually said "no." She said "You can get tested, treated and take medication and do very well." The mother agreed to go immediately and have him tested. LS provided the ability for her to get to the clinic. We are supposed to learn tomorrow these results and get him medication if necessary. Pray for his mother, that she would be able to stand strong and make wise choices for P. Pray that she would be able to keep his best interest in mind rather than the stigma she and her family may face. Pray for P. He is a sweet, sweet little boy who wants to be well... to run and play like other 6 year old boys do.

Ya'll... I don't know what more to say, other than now that I am here I feel like this is what I was made for. While I'm not blinded to the darkness around, I'm finding such deep joy and gladness that God chose us to be in this place.

I'm in love...

2011-09-26T10:27:00.000-07:00

We made it to Zambia! On the trip over, I had several uncertain feelings…and at times just wanted to scream “turn this plane around.” But once landing in Lusaka, it all changed. Since, I haven’t had one moment of “get me out of here.” Now, granted… we are 3 days into this thing. I’m well aware there will be times I feel that way. However, I’m basking in the goodness of our God in allowing me to feel at peace right now.

The past couple of days have been spent getting our home set up and organized (do you know how easy it is to unpack when you only have 11 bags?) This place it truly perfect! I’m so proud and grateful for all the many hands that went into making this place our home! Honestly, I LOVE it!

What makes our home even better… is a house FULL of kids! Saturday and Sunday was spent having several “visitors” come and welcome us, and play with our kids. Yesterday afternoon, a few boys came and played soccer with Zack. Zack certainly thought he was pretty cool. Ha. As I looked around, I saw such joy on my children’s faces… well, on ALL MY children’s faces. So much to soak in.

I'd love to leave you with some pictures... but of course, I forgot to bring my cord for the camera! UGH! Can't remember everything! ;)

My next post will be a series of stories and pictures that I don’t want to forget… Hopefully our internet will be working or at least I can bum it off of the school!

Well, it’s 6:20 and time to get breakfast on the table before our FIRST day at school!

Last post from this side of the ocean...

2011-09-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

If you are my friend on FB... you will see the cute airport pics I've been posting. I haven't had time to get them loaded from the phone to the computer! :/
Right now we are sitting in DC waiting to board our flight to Ethiopia. That will arrive around midnight tonight US time and then we will board another plane to Zambia! That will be 6 hours and then we will have a 5 hour drive from Lusaka to outside of Kitwe.
Alright! We are ready to board! Gotta go! We are all great! Pray for the rest of our travel and I'll see you in Zambia!

The Riches of His Word...

2011-09-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

As Thursday morning (@5:50am to be exact) approaches, I am finding myself much like the first time I ever went scuba diving. I sucked the air out of my tank like it was going out of style... nervous... uncertain... having NO CLUE what I was doing... I sounded like Darth Vader on steroids! Currently... I'm sucking wind... "it's go time!"

What I love is that my sweet Jesus is constantly filling my tank with the necessary air.

"So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11

His word is my air. A battle is going on in my mind between what makes "earthly sense" and what God has called us to.

My child is sick... How are we going to get all this luggage there? What in the world are we thinking? I can't even drive well on American highways... now I have to change sides of the road AND sides of the car?

Thoughts of this world become heavy... and then... HIS SWEET, wonderful, Rich, purposeful, full of life WORD comes to meet me this morning.

All is quiet, I can literally hear the birds singing and there is a Fall chill in the air as the sun rises. This morning has my Creators invitation all over it. And here... is what He fills my tank with today.

"For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6

"Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lusts of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and ALSO it's lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." 1 Jn 2:15-17

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Cor 4:17-18

These verses may not speak to your heart... but it certainly did to me this morning as I am so tempted to look at the temporary, to get caught up in the things that do not matter in light of eternity. Living in the riches of His word is the only way to receive the air necessary for the journey...

From Shaky to Sure footed...

2011-09-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

Over the last few days, there have been so many opportunities for God to speak to my heart. Recently, my sweet E (and KG for that matter) put his feet into the ocean for the first time. He has always had some struggle with things that move, or appear to move, beneath his feet. The ocean completely freaked him out at first. I could tell that he couldn't understand what was happening... was He moving? was it moving? are we all moving? Needless to say... he did NOT like it at first. He lost all confidence and became frozen in fear. .... well... see for yourself...

New experiences can be really scary. The unknown, lack of understanding, etc can engulf you and leave you frozen in fear. What I love... is that it didn't take long for E to adjust... and then check it out...

Here's some verses God placed in my mind, and how it could be very similar to me in a few days...

"The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3:19

"For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." Proverbs 3:26

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." Ps 143:10

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him." Jeremiah 17:7

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12

easy does it... remember who's placing my feet... and soon the confidence, peace, and joy will come and I will be "jumping the waves" with joy in Zambia.

Favorite Snaps...

2011-09-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

Well, we are having an amazing time! My children R.O.C.K. No, really. They do. They are real troopers and are having a blast. At the same time, Zambia... and the reality that we leave in ONE WEEK is never far from our minds nor hearts. Honestly... it's more us than this is... but I ain't gonna lie... WE are grateful for this time with dearest family and friends... and the fun ain't too bad either... Hope you enjoy the photos!

Rest...

2011-09-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

In 12 days... we will be on a plane heading to Zambia... our new home... the place where God has so clearly called our family and planted our hearts. Our bags are packed.Everything is complete. SO... the next 9 days will be spent with some great friends and family... resting... laughing... and building memories as a family.
I hesitated to even write about it. I think often times I have guilt for taking time to rest. Many moms can probably relate. Well... most of you can probably relate. Maybe I'm afraid people will label me as selfish...
But, let me share with you a couple of lessons I've learned over the past 2 years.
1. While, ultimately, there is no "balance" in being completely surrendered... God certainly calls us to times of rest...
2. While we are created to reach out... pour out... and give away... we cannot do that in a way that honors God if we neglect those closest to us: our marriages... our children... our families... and most importantly... time to sit quietly before the LORD.
So, with that said... I pray the majority of my days on this earth... I hope are spent in service to those around me... the next 9 days will be spent in rest... focusing our minds on things ahead... and simply enjoying our greatest blessing= each other.
I hope to share it with you... along with all the many things floating through my mind about what stands before us in just 12 DAYS!!

Favorites from the Weekish...

2011-09-07T03:06:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some of my favorite moments over the past week with you... so here they are...

BFFs... minus one.

My very courageous, sweet, "leave it all on the field" little man...

Ice Cream at the Train Station...

You do know they pick their nose with that thing, right?

My hubs... back home where he belongs! (with a cup of coffee)

Birthday picnic for the Mr... complete with sushi & Starbucks ice cream!

Ok, and really yummy cupcakes! (we decided to share those with the family)

3 Generations... photo by Z...

So, what's the McBs up to, anyway? Besides all the wonderful things you see... we've had SO MANY things we couldn't include it all! Visits from college friends, last minute Dr's appointments, picking up the few items we realize we need, selling our cars, working on some really cool opportunities to serve the kiddos in Zambia, and celebrating with over 100 people who support us and our ministry in Zambia! This time has been an amazing blessing, many prayers have been prayed... and many laughs... God is filling our cups to be poured out!

Where I come from....

2011-09-01T02:25:00.000-07:00

Vonore, TN

Population: city: 1462...zip code: approx 4,000

Average income: $34,000 (this has doubled in the past 15 years)

If I had to described the place I grew up... it would be like this...

It's a place where some things change, but the important things stay the same...

It's where beauty and fun co-mingle ...

the amazing mountains with some good old fashion muddin'

the great lakes with some blood pumpin' bridge jumpin

and the smell of camp fire is never too far away.

It's where a day of hard work doesn't scare a man away, nor do they think they are too good for it.

Most people know how to do almost anything... grow food, fix almost anything... and if they don't, they know someone who can. This kind of education comes from living a life of having to figure things out yourself.

Everyone knows where to go for the best breakfast in town... it's not the one of 2 fast food joints... located at both red lights in town...

it's off the beaten path... everyone knows Charlie Hall's is the place for the best biscuits and gravy your mouth will ever taste.

It's a place where you go to a little league football game... and as you hear the last name called out over the speaker, your mind goes back to the day their daddy wore the same blue and white...

It's the place every country song was written about...

It's where family is never far away... and a grandmother is always ready to cook up something yummy on a moments notice.

Good people, amazing Faith, and tight families... the important things that never change about where I come from... ;)

Hurricanes...

2011-08-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

While this last week was spent reuniting with my husband and saying goodbyes to his family... and 3 of the most amazing brothers anyone could ever ask for... We were dealing with hurricane Irene.... seeing so many trees were ripped up and torn apart... things that you thought were firmly rooted. Crazy. We certainly can choose, unlike a tree, what winds we allow to uproot us... and what winds we do not. And if I'm going to be broken... I'm praying it's from His amazing, hurricane-like love blowing all over me...
He is jealous for meloves like a hurricane I am a treebending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a suddenI am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by gloryI realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me...
oh... how he loves us...
We are His portion and He is our prizeDrawn to redemption by grace in His eyesIf grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth with a sloppy wet kissAnd my heart turns violently inside of my chestI don't have time to maintain these regretsWhen I think about...
The way he loves us...

A twist on birth order...

2011-08-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

This post should be proof that my mind is ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE. ;)

The other day, my mom and I were talking about all the many transitions the kids are going through... and while there is certainly some "kick back" from each of them in their own way, ultimately they are doing amazing under the circumstances. This conversation led into how hard transitions can be, etc.

This reflection upon our adoption transition period somehow moved to birth order issues. If you are a prospective adoptive parent, or an adoptive parent... guaranteed it is something that you have thought about. Some say you should "NEVER" break birth order... some say you shouldn't think twice about it. I fall somewhere in the middle... just so ya know. I think a family must consider and weigh all factors very carefully. It's been a topic around our house for a bit, because we have moved from the "we would never break birth order" camp to the "under the right circumstances I would do it without doubt" camp. Neither here nor there... but that's been the conversation.

The twist is this... what I realized while recounting with my mom is that I never thought about how breaking the birth order of the child being adopted should require the same attention. While I noticed certain behaviors, I didn't necessarily attribute it to "birth order" per say. While E had no bio siblings... He was the oldest in the orphanage... in the area that he spent almost all his time in. He then came into our family as the youngest. This was a tough transition for him. He was used to calling the shots... being the leader... and then we had 2 dominant children stacked right on top of him. It was tough. I probably didn't give it much thought at the time, but now it is something I'm certainly thinking about.

So often times we think about "OUR" situation... "OUR" current family... and how "WE" will be impacted by the change, when it comes to breaking birth order. However, it's probably wise for us to really consider both sides of the coin on this one. For some reason, once I had that thought, I was able to muster up more compassion for the things that drive me crazy about the behaviors related to this. It's not only hard to have your world change, but to change your position in the world is tough, too. And anything to help us become more aware and emotionally available for our kiddos, the better. Just something to think about.

This random thought brought to you by...

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the 12th mile....

2011-08-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

2 years ago, before my 30th birthday, I decided I would do something I've never done before. I trained and ran a half-marathon! Believe it or not, back in the day I was pretty athletic... but let's just say that part of me has come and gone. Nevertheless... 2 years ago= half-marathon.

When you are training, you never actually run the entire 13.1 miles. I ran 11 miles on my last long run before the race. I was told that the "runner's high" would have kicked in and the last 2 miles would be a cinch. a.cinch. it WAS.NOT.

Day of the race... nervous, but excited. Starting... good to go. Mile 4... too many hills. Mile 7... saw my family... awesome. Mile 10... ok... I can do this. Mile 12= DEATH. I hit quite the Wall. Was certain I might not even make it to the end. ha. kinda thought... this could be the end!

So... why recall that now? Well... I'm in the middle of my 12th mile. Shane has been gone for almost 4 weeks now. One week to go. The rush of emptying a house is over. I'm sitting here staring at a loft full of 10- half unpacked suitcases with things strung out everywhere. It's 10 pm and I still hear voices coming from the one room we are all 4 sleeping in. (yes, that feeling you are having is jealousy... don't be alarmed) I'm finishing my 27th day of bedtimes, bath times, etc... alone. While my parents are around... the kids want me. I get that. AND... We started homeschooling this week. Yes... yes we did. I know that sounds insane... but honestly we were all craving the routine... and it's helped everyone. But... this momma is tired. My mind vacillates between molasses and tornadic like conditions. If I owe you a call, an email, or a returned message... just keep trying! (OH MY WORD... I JUST REMEMBER I FORGOT TO CALL SOMEONE RIGHT BACK TONIGHT! KRISTEN PENNINGTON IM SORRY!) That wasn't for effect... that was real time there. haha.

So... thus... the 12th mile.

I'm learning what it is like to live in His grace... to extend His grace... and to run a race that's way more difficult than 13.1. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm doing it well. I want to walk in it WITH grace... shining HIS light... but some days it just feels like I'm barely putting one foot in front of the other. It's looking sloppy girls. (and a couple of boys)

Don't be too concerned... I finished that half-marathon alive... and fully expect the Lord to show off again in this one. Just know that if you see anything resembling ANY kind of sanity... goodness... etc... it certainly isn't coming from me... but HIM.

Pressing on... and honestly craving Zambia like never before. (not that I think it is going to be any easier... but living in your calling is quite joyous... and being TOGETHER certainly makes any load lighter)

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining for what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philip. 3:13-14

Help our program in Zambia Wednesday!!!

2011-08-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

I do promise, that VERY soon, I am going to get back to "real" blogging! I have had so many things to process that honestly, I think it is easier to just delay. ha.
BUT, this post is something that is clearly close to my heart... and I would LOVE for each one of you to go and VOTE! Kids Caring 4 Kids is an amazing ministry that has a chance to win some very valuable awards! They partner with us, LifeSong Zambia, to help fund our projects and love on our kids. If they win these amazing awards.... $30,000 would go to help our kids in Zambia!!!!!!! ok... let's let that sink in for a second. $30,000!!! So... let's make it viral people!
What's not awesome about that alone? However, LifeSong has sweetened the deal! You can win some great stuff... including the grand prize: A FREE TRIP FOR 2 to Arizona to attend TOGETHER FOR ADOPTION!!! say it with me: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!" So... get on that voting... share about it... blog about it... facebook about it... call in your favors. ;)
YOU ONLY HAVE FROM TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT TO WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT to VOTE!!!
Read more about how to get entered here....
Vote here....
Learn about Kids Caring for Kids here...

kinda ready to be there...

2011-08-15T19:18:00.000-07:00

Since Shane has been in Zambia, part of my heart feels home... Only a few more weeks!

(Some of our kids at the school)

(The farm workers cooking their lunch right outside our house gate)

Sorry for the stinky photo quality... The Mr. left the camera with me so this is from a phone... :/

Give some love... and a chance to win a nice camera!! TODAY ONLY!!

2011-08-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

While I've certainly had limited access to the internet... that is changing now because I've figure out the technical side of life. ha!
I wanted to SQUEEZE in this post... and hopefully we can all rally around my friend Lara... She's one of my roomies at the Created for Care conference (of whom I will certainly miss next year!) ... I've seen and heard her heart being transformed from taking a huge step of faith and entering the adoption process... to completely stretching herself into the unknown... into what is honestly, the hard stuff. I'm so honored to watch God move in their family's life... and I'd love it if you would scoot over and check out her "virtual shower" here... and there's some sweet stuff in it for you too! TODAY is the last day!! So DON'T Delay!! This is about bringing home a child who God has clearly hand picked for them... and them for him. So... without further adieu... scoot on over and be generous! ;)

When you experience the Body of Christ....

2011-08-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

So often, we hear negative things about the Church. Some words I’ve heard are: hypocritical, judgmental, self-righteous , or even self-contained or absorbed. I’m not saying that isn’t true of some people… or all of us at any given moment… Overall… there “should” be something powerful when you encounter the body of Christ at work. I find myself reflecting on the past few weeks and coming up completely overwhelmed… humbled… and in awe of how Great our God’s love is for us.

Since Shane has been in Zambia, I have seen MANY people… all from different places of worship… making up “The Body of Christ.” My burdens have been beared and shared… and WELL CARED FOR. Here’s a list of some of the things that we experienced as a family:

· *Having a friend come and finish laying flooring in our house so our renters/friends could move in to a completed house. He worked several evenings and HOURS of work…. I felt so helpless, but God allowed me to see this isn’t about ME or THEM but about all of our mutual love for HIM.

· Having friends show up to pack our bags and organize our stuff

· Friends being willing to run errands and pick things up for me.

· * Friends who come and say “I have a couple of hours, what can I do?” And they end up vacuuming our van, or CLEANING MY TOILETS!?!?!?! (You know I’m feeling really vulnerable when I let someone do that… lol)

· *Friends that will come and pick up my kids and feed them lunch, let them play, and go swimming while I clean and get things done at home.

· *Friends who check my car to make sure it’s ready for a long journey, or offer to mow my yard, or come and fix the fence and other odds and ends that need to be done.

· *Friends who bring my kids super fun, HUGE bags of individually wrapped treats for the coming airplane ride!

· Friends who just text and say “How can I pray for you today?”

· Friends who let me cry with them… and pray with me on the really hard days.

· *Friends who come and pack my vehicle like it’s a tetris game… in 107 degree heat…

· *Friends who want to know… “What can I do while you are in Zambia? For you? For the children there?” They want us to know we are not alone on this journey.

Seriously? How could you experience this, and NOT know the love that the Father has for you… to see that love for HIM is the common bond… the motivating factor… When the Body of Christ works together to love others as He loves us… it’s a powerful experience. It’s powerful to be a part of… and it’s powerful to be a recipient of it. I LOVE my Texas friends like family… thank you for being Christ to us… Looking forward to working with you in a powerful way to love on my 210 + 3. :)

(on a side note, we did make it to TN! It’s been quite the adjustment, but all is well! I do not have internet besides my phone at the house, so you can envision me sitting outside of the only McDonalds in town mooching off their wifi just to post a blog… )

a little miracle...

2011-08-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I hope you aren't expecting anything heart-warming or moving... BUT to me... this is a little miracle...
When You can fit this:

Into this:

It classifies as a little miracle!
Tomorrow I start the drive... away from my home... and to family. I will hopefully do better at blogging, since the heavy labor is now over. :) Love to all...

Our House, in the middle of the....

2011-07-31T18:14:00.000-07:00

...Farm! I've been wanting to give you a sneak peak of our home in Zambia! I'm figuring that you will think it is actually pretty nice! I think it is NOTHING like people envision! It's not a hut, and it's about the same size our home is now! It's located about a 20 minute walk from the school, and is on the "outskirts" of the compound (what people think of a village... only it isn't a village, it's a compound). The house sits on about a 6 acre farm that LifeSong owns. We are kinda on the front middle acre, with a wall around it. Anyway... check it out... Shane got to stay last night in the house for the first time! Now, if he could just get water in the house he'd be doing a lot better! Pray that happens this week!!
This is the front... obviously. Shane is hoping to get a screened in porch on the front so that in the evenings we can sit outside without getting eaten by mosquitos.
One of our bathrooms! Don't be jealous of the pink tub... KG will like it! Getting tile on the floor to... from what I hear.
This is the living room and dinning room! spacious huh?
This is where the work happens.... ha.
Here is our front yard. I think those are mango or avocado trees (the big ones) and some lemon and lime trees... so I'm told... YUMMMY!!
We are so grateful for our new home... and I have visions of what that home holds for us.... Praying it glorifies God in a mighty way.
On a different note...I'm thinking that we are getting into our new groove. The first week is over. This is our last week in TX... too bad it's gonna be the hottest one yet... 108 they say. AND I'm missing my only winter (in Zambia) right now... won't get another one for another YEAR!! Blast! ;)

Not a piece of cake...

2011-07-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

source

Let me just be honest... while it is easy to blog about the good things... funny things... exciting things... it's certainly not easy to blog about the hard things. Yet, to fantasize something is not truth, it is only a lie.
This is hard. Are we surprised or caught off guard by it? Not really... but that doesn't make it easier. While I'm fighting daily demands whining childrenpacking up a house...
He's having reality smack him in the face of how hard life in Zambia really will be: the HUGE learning curve, the endless to do list, being alone, Rats, death, etc...
And before we know it, things we thought we had given over and surrendered, we find holding once again. Fear, anxiety, desire for comfort... the list goes on and on. But, we must combat it with truth... and of course, Jesus never disappoints with His word:
"In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one. and take the helmet of salvation, and sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Eph 6:16
"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation." Is 12:2
"For nothing will be impossible with God" Luke 1:37
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9
"I AM A MIGHTY GOD. Nothing is too difficult for Me. I have chosen to use weak ones like you to accomplish My purposes. Your weakness is designed to open you up to My Power. Therefore, do not fear your limitations or measure the day's demands against your strength. What I require of you is to stay connected to Me, living in trusting dependence on My limitless resources. When you face unexpected demands, there is no need to panic. Remember that I am with you. Talk with Me, and listen while I talk you through each challenging situation. I am not a careless God. When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you fully to handle them. Relax in my presence, trusting in My Strength."
~Jesus Calling~
(Shane... I believe this one was just for us both... I know we are well aware of our weaknesses, especially when we are apart... But we MUST rely on the TRUTH and true strength that comes only from the LORD... and He is here with us both... I love you & the man you are...)

..........................

2011-07-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

................................................... feel it??? That's called writers block...
It happens to me when there are so many emotions mixed with so many demands. Where to start? How do I sort through all this? Where's my mom and a big glass of something?
I talked with the Mr. today... and after a delayed flight or something like that... He and my dad finally made it to Kitwe and are settled into the SHAMA-BINGA-BABY! That's the super sweet lodge... It's really just called the Shamabinga Lodge and Resort... but we like our name for it, personally. It's really quite a beautiful place... and you can't beat the kind people who own it! See here....

That is also where the Zambia bloopers was taped.
In the next day or two I'll give you a tour of our home in Zambia! Quite exciting!!

On the home front... yeah, that's the part I'm not quite ready to process yet. Let's just say things are quite busy here... and leave it at that. ;) I've got a little over a week to be all packed up and leaving TX... one. step. closer.

Twas the Night before...

2011-07-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

2 Years ago today... We saw THIS sweet face for the first time...

In less than 3 hours... the Mr. will be boarding a plane to take him to THIS place...

Kinda glad God doesn't give us a flash forward of our lives... we'd never believe it if we saw it in advance!!
(for those who have emailed and left messages... thanks. We are doing pretty good. Of course, 2 days down... 37 to go! ask me again in about 20 days.)

The next 24 hours...

2011-07-21T20:53:00.001-07:00

There really are no words to describe the emotions... You KNOW God has called you to it...After the initial hesitation and physical illness (no, really)... We're IN completely...The preparation to get to this point was really... sometimes hard, but not horrific...And you suddenly realize that you will "never be ready" for this... When you THINK your faith is strong... but then it's time to actually jump...You realize that it takes WAY MORE than what you have.
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I can't do this... alone. I'm dreading the next 24 hours, where I'll say goodbye to my best friend and husband... the leader of my family. You say "this is worth it"... but there are moments I doubt it. The dread of tears shed... by me... by my kids... by my man... ugh. 6 weeks is a L.O.N.G. time (you military wives out there, feel free to make fun... I'm a complete wimp!)
Despite all these emotions... I lift my eyes from my feet *attempting* to tread water and I look for HIS face. And there... We find our strength... JOY... and ability to look PAST the next 6 weeks and into a life God has most certainly called us to.
Please pray for us... Pray for the Mr. as he travels from here to TN... and then to Zambia on Monday.
It's then... the stories will begin. Our life in Zambia begins... NEXT WEEK!

Our Story...

2011-07-19T19:17:00.000-07:00

Our story... wow. So much to say. Where to start? How do we even adequately express all that God has done in our lives? The redemption, the stretching, the beauty from our messes, the so many blessings, the stripping of control, the journey we never thought we'd do... wow.
Here's just a small glimpse of "us" and "our story" ... at least from the past few months... This will be added to the "Our Story" section soon.

***A HUGE shout out to Corey Lamb and the communications team at our church for putting this together as part of our send off. YOU.ARE.AWESOME. ***

Flashback to one year ago...

2011-07-17T12:49:00.000-07:00

As the "end" approaches to life as we know it in Texas, I've been quite reflective. I went searching and reading through old blog posts (ah... that's the purpose of blogging...) and read our FIRST blog post on this blog... which was exactly a year ago this week. I actually Laughed Out Loud (not just saying it). Because if my life were a movie in which I had written the script for (which a. it is not and b. glad someone else is writing the story of my life)... one might think it was a foreshadowing of things to come...
"Over the past 8 months, we have been "cocooning"... even in blog world! ha! We brought E home from Ethiopia the day after Thanksgiving and put our blog to private at that time. I think there were things on my heart and mind I wasn't ready to share with the whole world. During this time, we have been refined... re-defined... and ready to re-enter the public blog world...haha!
It truly has been one of the hardest, and yet most beautiful times of our lives. God has litterally stripped us of all "assumed control" and has shown us what it is REALLY like to gravel at the feet of Jesus. He's revealed parts of our hearts we didn't want to see... and it has left us with choices to make. We simply want to "leave it all on the court" in this life... and we want to challenge others to do the same. To start this blog... I want to just copy one of my posts from this past 8 months to give you a glimpse into the McB journey...
Here's the thing... I don't know why... but God is bringing us to a place we've never been before. I don't know what that looks like or what he will do... but I'm pretty sure it's gonna look crazy to anyone who doesn't understand the WHY of what we are doing. I just don't want to live my life with regrets, or boundaries placed upon my life by ME... or Society... or anyone. I want to only accept the boundaries placed within my life by God Almighty. I really want to GIVE HIM MY ALL.... What does that look like? My time... energy... service... love... money... house... comfort... car... TV... reserve... I just want to LOVE LOVE LOVE. him... others... the people on the street we want to avoid looking at... people I disagree with... those who are hurting... those who are blind... the self-righteous... the sick... the poor... the orphan... the diseased... those without clean water... the homeless... the druggie... the prostitute... the atheist...the sex-trafficer... the victim... the offender... I really want to LOVE like Jesus. And I'm starting to think that may start to look pretty crazy... At the end... when I stand and look at Jesus...I want to know I loved with HIS power and not what "I thought I could do." Simply Love with the love of Jesus...

We are excited to start this new journey.... one of learning... stretching & growing... one of meeting the next McB... one of shedding the unnecessary. We hope you will join along...laugh at us... see the messes we make... and see the Maker redeem!"

Yeah, I had NO IDEA what God was up to in our hearts... and honestly, still don't. What I know is this: HE IS ABLE.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever." Eph 3:20-21

And the survey says....

2011-07-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

Ok friends... if you have ever wanted to express yourself... now's the time to do it! We are heavy in the packing stage of things, which has brought forth quite a few questions. So... this is my survey! If you read this, I need you to help! Just leave your comments answering any or all of my questions.

1. What are the top 3 kitchen items you would take to Africa?
2. What are the best children's books you would take?
3. What are the best toys/activities that occupy kids on a VERY LONG plane ride?
4. What would you put on your iPod? Favorite Worship Songs? Best all around music?
5. What Podcasts do you listen to?
6. Favorite games?
Thanks for your input!!

Truth or Die...

2011-07-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you remember that infamous game we all played "back in the day"... TRUTH or DARE... It was always painful to tell the truth... but sometimes equally painful to act out a dare!
This week, I find myself in the need of TRUTH or I'm gonna DIE. Not in reality, but spiritually... emotionally... relationally.

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The father of LIES chokes out joy. He uses circumstances in our lives to attempt to gain the "high ground" of our minds.
he says "You can't do this."
BUT TRUTH SAYS:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13
he says " You aren't strong enough to handle life there"
BUT TRUTH SAYS:
" Do not fear, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Is 41:10
he says " You are crazy to leave this life you have... good friends, good ministry, everything at your fingertips..."
But TRUTH SAYS:"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven... For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Mat 6:19-21
he says : "You don't know what you are doing, You can't do this job"
But TRUTH SAYS:
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Eph 2:10
he says "Be jealous of X, Y, Z"
But TRUTH SAYS:"And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecc 4:4
he says "you are going to screw up your kids"
But TRUTH SAYS:" He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge" Prv 14:26
he says "They don't love you and will forget about you once you are gone."
But TRUTH SAYS:
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Ps 139:7-10
he says "be afraid of the darkness that awaits you..."
But TRUTH SAYS "If I say, 'surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day for darkness is as light to you." Ps 139: 11-12

I'm choosing TRUTH this week... taking all those thoughts CAPTIVE and to the one who can FREE me from them! God so desires for us to be FREE... and LIVE in HIS TRUTH! Oh, but it's so hard not to swim around in the yuck... Praying we all can stand on truth when the lies come...
"But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night, He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither..." Ps 1:2-3

What it looks like on the inside...

2011-07-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

Well, my friends certainly whipped me into shape... it feels overwhelming and like a ton of pressure to pack 10 bags and call it your life. What to choose, what's the most important, what can't We do without? Honestly, it's quite convicting to see that when it comes right down to it... we really don't NEED that much. And yes, even in 10 bags for a family of 5, there's still quite a few luxuries.
All that to say... my house is quite empty....

BUT, my heart is SO FULL!!!

Goodbye says it all...

2011-07-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

This past week we had 2 amazing "goodbye" parties. In less than 2 weeks, the Mr. will get on a plane to Zambia!!
We've had an amazing time connecting with friends that, honestly, feel more like family. The challenge, generosity, and love felt through these friendships have been indescribable. It's been great to be with such amazing people. However, when the party is over... you have to say "goodbye"... that's the downside.
Here are just a few pics from our "goodbyes" thus far. I really stink at taking pictures and being social at the same time. You can guess which one I chose, thus I really don't have that many great photos with everyone! (I took a picture with my heart, ya'll)

And now... let the packing begin!! In a couple of hours I have 2 amazing "home organizer" friends gonna come and whip me into shape... I'll let you know how it goes.

Baking with Norah Jones & Jack Johnson...

2011-07-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! So, I have STUNK at blogging this week... but ROCKED at spending time with amazing friends! (that's another post)
So... here's the deal... you probably won't see another recipe on this blog, because I'm about to give you all I've got. ha. I'm not necessarily the best cook in town, but I can make a mean strawberry pie and peach cobbler. So... thought I'd share my recipes with you... since my granny was so nice to share it with me. :)
I believe it started with a lady named Mary Starr? I suppose she's my granny's generation of Paula Dean. But I love to bake with a little Norah Jones and Jack Johnson on the radio... ahhh. Anyway... here you go!

Strawberry Pie:
1 cold, cooked pie shell (deep dish is best)1cup of sugar2T of cornstarch1/2 t of salt1 cup of boiling water4T of strawberry jello1lb strawberries
Boil water. In a bowl, mix sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Add to water and cook until thick and clear. Add Jello. Pour over your crust with strawberries added already. Let set in fridge and top with cool whip when ready to serve. :) ** EASY PEASY**

Peach Cobbler:
1/2 cup butter2 cup sugar...divided1 cup of self-rising flour1 cup of milk4 cups of sliced peaches1T of lemon juicesome pumpkin pie spice to your taste :)
Melt butter in 13X9 inch pan with oven set to 375. Mix 1 cup of sugar, flour, and milk. Bring peaches to boil with lemon juice and 1 cup of sugar (I add a bit of water, but not too much) and boil for about 3 minutes. Add spice if you like.
Get melted butter pan out of oven, pour batter mix, then add peaches. Cook at 375 for about 40-45 minutes. Serve warm with... you guessed it... vanilla ice cream :)

*you may not only love like crazy... but please, eat like crazy! ;) *

What the "Gottcha Day" video didn't tell you...

2011-07-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

You know this... we've seen a ton of videos that bring us to tears... it shows a waiting family, a waiting child, and the glorious day where they "instantly" become a family... in love. The video ends with hugs and smiles. We are hooked, and some are convinced this represents the adoption journey. (here me out here, i'm certainly NOT anti-video... we have one, and I believe it is a BEAUTIFUL picture of the gospel... of a family's start of a story... and it certainly SHOULD be celebrated!)
What I've found, though, over the past couple of years is that adoption is so easily fantasized. I was guilty of it, despite my walking with many families through it as a social worker. We want to think "that's not going to happen to me" or "because I'm adopting an infant it will be easy."
I've worked with families recently who have said "Wow, I didn't know it was hard." And some even consider walking away from a child.
So... Here's 10 things that OUR video... nor anyone else's I've seen... doesn't tell you:
1. You might not feel the way you expect when you get "The Call." While I've been madly in love with E from the beginning, when I saw his picture I wasn't necessarily overwhelmed with emotion. I knew he was the son God had for us. But ultimately I was in love with the possibility of being in love with him.
2. While you are all excited and counting down the days until you meet your child, they basically have no idea about you (unless they are older). They are just living life until one day this strange couple shows up and starts snotting all over them.
3. They might not like you at first... and you might not like them. Check out the first pic we have of E as he is laying eyes on us... yes, it is SCREAMING that he is in complete love with us... LOL. It also took us almost 2 hours before we could pick him up. We didn't take him with us the first day, because we felt it was too difficult for him. Slow and steady... and it was miserable for us, but in the end it was the right thing for him. And there were times in the first 6-9 months that frustration was the overriding emotion.

4. Your children will grieve. They will be sad to leave whatever environment they were in. They've built relationships, bonds, and routine that will be missed.
5. Because of this grief, they may not want you to hold them... they may actually hit, kick, scream or bite at you. Luckily for me, E took that out on his siblings at first. We went from 99.9% happy to 99.9% conflict when E came home. Happy to report, we are back to approximately 94.3% happy. Pretty darn good.
6. Regardless of age... YOU and YOUR CHILD might be EXHAUSTED due to little sleep, sleep disturbances, etc.
7. There's no guarentee for a happy ending.
8. It takes a LOT of work... and you may find yourself locked in the bathroom crying. (and I ain't talking about the happy tears, either)
9. There will be days you say "did I just ruin our lives?" (the answer is no)
10. The most tender, sweet moments that occur make the videos look stoic in comparison. I look back at our video now and think... wow... we were just getting started. We are MADLY in love now in comparison. It's kinda like marriage, with age it just gets sweeter. (I didn't necessarily say easier)
So hear me on this... adoption is without a doubt one of the most beautiful and amazing journeys of our lives. I'm blessed to say that with E, many of the difficulties disappeared within the first year of being home. I just think so often times we get caught up in the emotion, and sick of the wait... when we could be using that time to spiritually prepare, and educate ourselves for the journey ahead. I also don't want any families out there to think they are weird because they didn't "feel" the way they thought initially. Of course, there are families who would say they didn't struggle with ANY of these things, but I would venture to say that is the EXCEPTION to the rule.

My prayer for my family, and for yours, is that we love our children the way they are... that our relationship with them will help them and us become more fully the person God created us to be... and that regardless of how hard the road may be ahead, we know God has called us to walk it.

water for a dry land...

2011-07-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

While our life has certainly been all things Zambia the past few months, Ethiopia certainly holds a very close part of our hearts as a family. I so often pray for E's birthmother, that if she is still alive, she can sense God's presence. You might think this weird, but I actually pray that God would be with her and let her know that E is doing alright... to give her some sense of peace.
As I'm getting ready to go stuff my face, enjoy food and fireworks... and when it's hot, I'm gonna get a nice cold drink... THIS article came across my attention.

Particularly this part:
"In Ethiopia, the estimated number of people in need of emergency food and non-food assistance was revised upwards from 2.8 million to 3.2 million. Nearly two thirds of the requirements were in the southern Somali and Oromia regions as well as in the Southern Nations, Nationalities and People’s Region, where shortages of water and food were recorded. Cereal prices there have continued to rise, with inflation rates close to 30 percent recorded in April. "

You see, E is from the SNNPR. He has family there. And things are bad.I can't continue on about my nice holiday weekend without stopping to pray for the other part of our family that is in Ethiopia. I'm praying that God would quench their hunger and thirst, even without food and water... He could do that. Won't you pray with me for this crisis?
"He turned the dessert into pools of water and the parched ground into springs of water." Psalms 107:35

the gift of grace...

2011-06-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

***Disclaimer***Can I just say that grace-giving isn't one of my strengths? I so often times find myself missing the opportunity to extend grace to others.
I don't know if you know what I'm talking about here, but if you have a newly potty trained little boy... this one will be up your alley.

Recently, E has been having... ahem... let's say "challenges" with getting to the potty fast enough. Not sure what it is with little boys, but they wait until the LAST.POSSIBLE.SECOND. to go potty. (i'm not terribly sure they outgrow this) There are days that it DRIVES ME BATTY! Afterall, "How many times do I have to say this?" or "Are you seriously doing this again?"
Yesterday, I heard a scream coming from the bathroom followed by crying... and sure enough it was E. I opened the door and he stood there... half dressed.. and soaked! The bathroom floor was a puddle. His face was covered in defeat, once again.
For some reason, I was overcome with GRACE. I closed the door, wrapped a towel around him... sat him on my lap (he's still crying pretty good here) and I grabbed his face and just said "I love you." over and over again. And in just a few seconds he stopped crying. His eyes went from fear to relief. He saw that my love had NOTHING to do with his ability to aim. ;) He grabbed my face back and said "mommy, i love you."
I could have missed that. I could have responded in harsh judgement or frustration. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't.
God used that moment to teach me about HIS GRACE. When i find myself in a mess... spirituallyemotionallyphysicallyrelationallyHe grabs me, wraps me in HIS love, and says "I LOVE YOU."
I'm so thankful he doesn't say "seriously, you are struggling with THIS again?"
When I mess up, He gently brings me back in with His grace. He brings me back to relationship with Him. His purpose for discipline is right relationship. And thus... my response to others requires the same.

"Is He safe?"

2011-06-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite authors of all time is C.S. Lewis. His writing speaks and challenges me like no other. Recently, I started reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with my oldest son. (and he's hooked, btw) Today we got to one of my favorite parts. What's so funny is that Z was asking some of the questions that I was about to read... only before I got to it.. "Who is Aslan?" "What's he like?" "Is he a man?"

This part of the story gives me chills each time...

" 'Then is he safe?' said Lucy. 'Safe?' said Mr. Beaver. 'Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you?' Who said anything about safe? Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King I tell you.' ' I'm longing to see him,' said Peter, 'even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point.'"

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I needed to read this today. I've been struggling as reality sets in, the house gets emptier and emptier, and the letting go begins... I've found myself thinking "Are we crazy? I'm pretty sure we are crazy" I've found myself longing to just be "normal" and live a "respectable, stable, and secure life." Afterall, that's the "right" thing... huh?

BUT "Who said anything about safe?"

Following our Jesus will certainly bring about the exact opposite of what we strive for. Our God isn't safe. He doesn't promise safe... He is full of adventures that bring about His ultimate purpose and glory... and sometimes that means we aren't "safe."

BUT HE IS GOOD.

"Taste, and see that the Lord is good." That's an invitation to COME and SEE for yourself... take action...

As we experience God... we step out of our "safe zone" into an amazing adventure that allows us to see that, indeed, He is GOOD.

And, oh... I so want to be like Peter... I LONG to see God... to see Him "on the move" in a powerful way... even if I'm frightened a little... ok... a lot. ;)

AND the winners are.......

2011-06-27T19:59:00.001-07:00

Well, I was going to video the big drawing... but honestly, I'm sitting in my PJs and just don't want to get dressed... ha!
I'm super PUMPED about the sweet winners of our blog giveaway! But first, I just want to thank everyone for your sweet words of encouragement and for joining us as we begin our life in Zambia SOON!
So... without further ado.... Our winners!!!
For the 1st LOOT bag: The Large bag, Africa Boxers, and The Connected Child book set
WINNER: ALISON from Lovin' Much!!! YAY! Alison!!!
For the 2nd LOOT bag: The medium bag, Africa onsie, and Blog facelift
WINNER: KIM HEATON from A Mother's Ramblings
Congratulations on your Win!! The rest of you stay tuned, you never know what kind of fun stuff might pop up again! (I might give away my minivan if no one buys the silly thing... lol)

Sweet reminders...

2011-06-26T10:46:00.001-07:00

One of the things I love most about being a mom is just talking with my kids. I love to hear their questions and what's on their mind. Often that comes out in form of a song, or some other theatrical move... but today, it was just nothing but, well, sweet.
On the way home from church today, Z says "Mom, baby sister is asleep right now." I said, "Yes, baby, I bet she is." I then reminded them that we do not know WHEN God will bless us with a baby sister (or brother for that matter)... (for those of you who don't know, we withdrew from an Ethiopian adoption as God made it clear Zambia was in our future... you can click here to read that ).
Z then said "Mom, I'm afraid." I of course inquired, and Z said "I'm afraid she won't make it. I'm afraid a snake is going to get her before we can bring her home." *sigh* (compliments of the venom extractors we bought??)
I tried my best to assure him that God has this whole thing rigged. That God knows exactly who will be a part of our family, and who won't. That HE knows her name... where she is... and that He cares for her just like a Father.
He then said "Ok, well... I want a brother too, and actually, all the kids in Africa that don't have mommies and daddies." I chuckled and said, "Well, I guess we will need a bigger house for that!" Z said "Yes, and another van."
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There is so much I love about that conversation. Not only is God showing me the heart HE has given our oldest son for the fatherless, but He is reminding me that HE has not forgotten about the desires of my heart.
HE will not waste an experience
HE will not waste this time of waiting and uncertainty
HE will not forget HIS children
And certainly...
HE is the one who builds a family.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Prov 16:9

*today and tomorrow are the LAST days to be entered into the GIVEAWAY!*

"But God makes it grow..."

2011-06-24T05:12:00.000-07:00

***(4 More days to get entered into our giveaway here)***
When we were in Zambia the 2nd week of April, one of the big projects going on there was the "Strawberry Project." Luke, the farmer extraordinaire, was working with a consultant from South Africa, along with some amazing and generous people here in the States. SO MUCH WORK went into getting these plants from South Africa TO Zambia. They then drove 4+ hours from Lusaka in a van with ALL OF THESE STRAWBERRY PLANTS... with the AC cranked down... ha. It was like a fridge in there so they say!
They worked on this planting project ALL day EVERY day. Luke, Brian, and the amazing Zambians : both men and women. I saw them learning how to plant strawberries. I saw them take great care of watering... trying to get just the right amount. And to be honest, when I saw the plants... they looked a little... um... peak-ed (as my mom would say)... This is the field as they were being planted....

And now, not even 3 months later, there is this:

And if you want to see MORE... Click HERE

Praise God!! The first harvest is in! What's the purpose of all this, you ask?
on the basic level:
Jobs
Economic Development
Sustainability for the school project
but on a deeper level:
Self-worth
Pride (the good kind)
Hope for the future

Sitting back and watching this reminds me of Paul, in 1 Cor 3:6 when he says "I have planted, Appolos watered, but God made it grow." (now, I realize he was actually lecturing and giving some conflict resolution at that time) I read that scripture and it just seemed perfect. There were so many hands "planting" and "watering" in this project... working with both their knowledge (through consulting) and their hands (those on the ground). BUT... in all this, God made it grow. Here's to the body of Christ working together... and God's gracious growth!

Regression... coming right up!

2011-06-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

*** Giveaway Details are HERE***

Today I wanted to write about something I don't write as much about as of late... but our current season has certainly demanded it.

For many of you, you are unaware of the transition struggles that we had as a family for at least the first 6 months after bringing E home. Our blog went private for almost a year afterwards. It was a sweet time, and a hard time. All day today I've found myself wanting to reflect back... maybe because currently some things feel the way they did then.

Maybe because I know some of you are in the heat of things right now...

Maybe to just remind myself, and you... that this will get better and that there is so much hope for our sweet and amazingly strong children...

I have to confess the thoughts that I've had JUST TODAY... Today, as I saw KG and E running down the hallway holding hands and laughing together I thought "wow, we have come SO FAR from where we started. " I never thought I'd see the day. For the first 6 months after bringing E home I cried at night truly believing I had "ruined KGs life." So for all the moms out there who are newly home (especially with a toddler)... hang in there. It takes a LOT of intentionality, but it gets SO MUCH BETTER!!

Sleep... Oh Sleep. UGH. Our largest issue... which resolved at about 9 months home. However... recently... it has snuck back up... looking different, but I've seen that face before. I am fully aware, and expecting, regression to come our way.

We are moving.

Our environment is changing in a major way at home.

We have sold a ton of things.

And all the talk about "Africa" has E's ears perked. He is WELL AWARE of what is going on Insecurity starts to creep in... and OH REGRESSION.

Just tonight, I laid E down and snuggled up with him. He stared me in the eyes and rubbed my face... we just shared sweet words and hugs and kisses. My thought was "wow... I'm so in love." 30 minutes later I'm ready to "hurt somebody" (figure of speech of course)... He's not wanting to stay in his "sleeping area"... He's crying at everything... total breakdown in communication and security. UGH. "ARE WE HERE AGAIN?!?!?!" I try to pull out my KP (Karyn Purvis) moves... and I try to elicit what little compassion I have left and recognize that he is going through a lot... we all are... and I pray for patience. He's now sleeping soundly in his room. I'm reminding myself a 40 minute episode is NOTHING compared to the 3-4 hours it used to take to get him to sleep when we were first home. And to beat that, this hasn't happened in a LONG time...

In all of the mess (and it's a mild mess in comparison), I'm reminding myself to keep focus... be less motivated through my own emotional reaction and more motivated by grace.

I'm reminding myself to be less occupied by my to do list and more occupied with being present for my kids.

I'm reminding myself to balance my structure with nurture... and do all I can to give them a positive and low stress environment... (which means I have to talk to Jesus A LOT during the day!)

Ultimately, I'm falling at Jesus' feet and asking HIM to minister to the hearts of my children beyond what I can see...

In all reality, they are doing UNBELIEVABLY well with all the transitions. We knew this transition would be tough on everyone, especially E. But all in all, even he is handling it like a CHAMP! Afterall, sleeping on an air mattress is good cause for sleep disturbances, right? ;)

It's just a good reminder that we are never really "finished" or "settled"... i suppose that's why they call it a journey...