The decision for school...

Well, if you have seen any of my Facebook updates, you know that my 3 kiddos started school this week.  *sigh*
First, I don't really recommend that all 3 children start school for the first time all in one day. :) 
Second, I'm blow.away. by how cool my kids are.  
I've really never anticipated my kids settling into another culture as brave as they have.  They are so accepting, so understanding, and are able to pick out the best of life in Zambia. 
The decision to start them in a Private Christian School, called CCM Academy (Center for Christian Missions) was one Shane and I really spent a lot of time discussing and praying about. 

Factors to consider for us were:
*Ability to protect homeschooling time from:- the unforeseen, yet guaranteed emergencies-the crazy schedules during the 'US' summer months (5 teams in 2 months!)* the impact of consistently being in an impoverished environment for our children*the need for a steady routine despite all the visits, troubles, and changes that often come our way*the need for both Shane and I at the school until things become more manageable 
Thus... CCM was the choice.  It's come highly recommended by another family who worked there for a time.  While our kids are the only non-Zambians... I'm completely confident that they are in a very good environment... that is challenging them academically.  
So, term by term we go... we shall see what the future holds.  
For now... it's early mornings, packed lunches, uniforms... and very sweet early afternoon time with my 3 kiddos.  

Living in the Mess

For those of you who know us, you probably think we've been accustomed to living in a "mess" for a long time.  It seems since we left our corporate jobs 4 years ago, things have always had a flair of messy to it.  But for those of you who have set foot onto Zambian soil, you have a little glimpse into our lives... the demands, the never-ending need, and the unpredictable situations that often determine your day. 
The unique challenge that we have is our house location is right in the middle of endless opportunity for ministry. We are only a half mile from say... Sweet T's house, and about 10 others. We are right on the edge of the compound, so we are accessible when need arrises.  Now, I personally love that.  I don't want to be so far removed that we can't fully be a part of their lives.  However, it has certainly presented its challenges.  
There really could be several blog posts stem from this one... "Marrying Compassion and Empowerment in Ministry"... "Setting Healthy boundaries in Missions"... "Motherhood and Missions= a place for both"... I could go on and on! 
I'm not going to elaborate here... maybe someday. But here are some of the things we are doing to attempt to live in the mess well... not withdraw from it. 
1.  Boundaries: The Mr. and I have to consistently judge and share with each other on how we are doing in setting appropriate boundaries that a. protect our time with the Lord b. Protect our time with each other c. Protect our time with our children. *That our first job is to protect our marriage and our children* 
2. Having set Family Days:  We struggle more with this, but we have Tuesdays and Thursday evenings set aside as ONLY family. During the holiday and with teams, it's kinda hard to preserve that, but we do our best to call it later in the week if it gets missed. 
3.  Having Rules about when the farm house is "Open for visitors" and when it isn't. And holding the kids to some clear rules when they are here. 
4. For me, to realize that God's gifted me a certain way, and that isn't a mistake, but a blessing.  He's equipped me to do certain parts of this ministry, not all of it. I could elaborate, and will, on how this has impacted the way I function as a wife, mom, and someone in missions.  
5.  We can't do it all.  We are not the solution to these people's problems.  Jesus is.  We can only do what He has called us to.  Jesus didn't heal everyone, although he had the power to do so.  Which means God must give us wisdom in how to move and act each day. 
These are the areas that are necessary for living in a place where those you love bring their heartache, their baggage, etc. to your doorstep.  Honestly, it is a daily struggle to continue to keep these boundaries and order in place.  You can pray for us in these areas so that we are able to Live well in the mess.  

Inviting in brokenness...

Brokenness... it's becoming a friend I can embrace. Sometimes my heart wants to just cry to Jesus "NO MORE BROKENNESS!"
I read a blog post here, and my favorite part of the post says this:
"When we love people, we invite their brokenness and mess into our lives. Mess is inconvenient; it takes our time, energy, and sometimes money to make it better. Despite our efforts, the mess can not be fully containted. It spills over and touches the people who dare to stand near."
That concept can seem so scary. To knowingly invite in brokenness. Isn't that completely against what we've been taught? Everything we do... from Kindergarten upwards... is to ensure you have a "comfortable"... "presentable" life.
Be well educated= go to college= get a good job with lotsa $$$Surround yourself with good upstanding people = so other's don't pull you down*certainly don't go to that side of town* etc...
It's true... "when we LOVE". Well, there it is. Do we really love?
We've found ourselves in the midst of many, many children that we love. And therefore, their mess has come our way. Some messes are:*kids showing up after being chased... and staying for a bit.* Dealing with issues like: pornography, jealousy, and someone said "hyper individualism", poverty mindset, abusive parents, hunger, abandonment, etc. *Crying for and with a mother whose 7 month old baby died of a preventable disease.
Just yesterday, we dropped a sick baby off at the clinic and my 4 year old said "Mom, why do they not go to our doctor?" (we attend the best doctor in town... it's expensive even for us... talk about a life lesson at the age of 4.)
It's kinda messy. It's inconvenient, and it certainly take energy! Often times Satan wants us to believe that it's not worth it... or we aren't making a bit of difference because these issues listed aren't resolving. The mess will never be contained this side of heaven. And their brokenness becomes yours if you dare to stand near.
Now... this isn't something that only Africa provides an opportunity for. Brokenness is everywhere. Are you daring to stand near?
(next post will be Living in the Mess... something we are trying to learn!)

Less?

Often times, I hear others voices inside my head (no, I'm not talking mental health issues, don't pull out the DSM IV)... who sometimes try to convince me that Africa is somehow offering Less to my children than they deserve...need...or whatever...

If Africa is less... then less is more in my book...

Holy Week + Real Life

Today, Maundy Thursday, of our Holy Week... The reflection of the KING as servant. And the anticipation of the worlds greatest need met. And yet, creation continues to groan for the return of our great King.
Today started out with great pain here on the farm. I have the privilege of seeing some amazing women work hard for their families each day, as our home is located smack dab in the middle of Lifesong's Strawberry Farm. When we first moved... I met a young woman with a 2 week old baby tied to her back! She was working in the fields. I grew to enjoy seeing the baby, and sometimes holding it and making her laugh (or scaring her with my white skin...haha) The baby has been sick off and on. Even last week she came to our home at lunch asking for some food for the baby. Just last night, her baby met Jesus. Everyone on the farm is grieving. Not just for the loss of a sweet life here, but for S... her mother. You see, S's husband died 2 months before the baby was born. So in the last year, she has lost her husband and her baby girl.
And creation groans.
We continued on with our end of term awards and party. Here is what I saw:
#1 student in grade 1: Searching for a parent to get his award, fighting back tears... alone.
2 boys close to my heart asking "who will get my certificate with me?"
The rawness of orphan life. Those who are "vulnerable" are the blessed ones today. Because today I saw children SEARCHING for someone to share in their achievement, someone to applaud them, someone to walk with them to get their awards. So, today... I was the "stand in" mom.
And while that is ok... creation groans.
I saw young men who live on campus, being abandoned by their families, receive awards... yet their distant relatives will come quickly to collect the awards with "pride" despite not seeing, visiting, nor caring for these children on a monthly basis... much less a daily one.
And creation groans.
I saw a boy who had been abandoned at a young age, finally achieve the #1 spot in his class... and with tears in his eyes... he proudly accepted the award with his elderly grandmother.
Now.. that... That is my SUNDAY!
While there is so much brokenness around us... as we groan through the "passion"... we must find the resurrection in this life... the new life He has given us... the HOPE for the next life to come. Redemption is here.

More than a Match...

Recently we got this AMAZING news...

Great, you say... a matching grant... it's pretty cool! It's a great time to give, for sure.

What's better than having your gift DOUBLED?

Well, to me... the Kingdom work being multiplied by YOUR dollars simply can't fit into a mathematical equation.

To me, this means more than a match... it's more than dollars being multiplied.

It's LIFE CHANGE.

It means that I can look at JoNAtHAN, in Baby class and say that next year, he won't have to sit on the ground outside... in the rain... or crowd with 252 kids bigger than he is into a small space to eat in a dry spot.

It means that I can confidently look at the double orphan on the street who desperately wants to come to school and say "yes, next year we will have the classroom space to add a class for YOU."

It means that the boys, who live on campus, can experience what it would be like to live in a home....

It means that I can look at 22 GRADE 7's and say... "Lifesong is here to FINISH WHAT WE'VE STARTED... we will be able to continue educating, discipling, and training you through graduation."

The kids sing a song here that says

"He give's me joy-O, He give's me peace-O, everything He gives is double...everything is double double."

This match means so much more than double to our team... it means continued growth in ministry. It means that we can continue being about what God brought us here to do. It means that the children who have been abandoned and forgotten in the past, won't have to feel that way again, simply because of a lack of financial support. It means "buying" more time for God to continue working in the hearts and minds of the children Lifesong has been pouring into for the past 6 years. God simply isn't finished with them... and we don't want to let them go due to lack of space.

I rarely ask for things on this blog... but I'm asking you to consider joining Lifesong in raising funds to help with our match! This isn't our personal support... this is directly going to the needs of growth at our school. Each and EVERY dollar will be going to construct the necessary buildings we are mandated to have in order to grow through grade 12 with our current students. I PROMISE your dollars will be MORE THAN DOUBLED by investing in the lives of these very special children...

To join us... email info@lifesongfororphans.org!

When the streets find your home...

(Ok, before I get to this serious post... Is it REALLY MARCH 20 and I'm JUST NOW posting my first post in MARCH?!?!?! Maybe I could blame the 30 member vision team that came, or KGs 4th bought of malaria, or E's stomach virus, or Zack's finger infection, or us being extremely short staffed, or KG's allergic reaction, or what I'm about to write about... But I'd just be lying. I'm a blog neglector... it's true. forgive me.)
Last Friday evening, I found myself opening the door to something pretty special.
I opened the door and am certain the look on my face was one of confusion. (they try to train you in grad school to control your facial expressions, but I'm certain I failed at that moment.) Some of the kids who were hanging out at our house came carrying big bags full of stuff and saying "they've come to stay with you." WHO? And around the corner crept 4 teenage boys with sheepish grins on their faces... like "hey... uh... haha... kinda need a place to live right now." There wasn't a moment of consultation, Shane and I both grabbed their bags and welcomed them in.
This is where the streets found our home.

You see, these boys aren't just "any" boys. They used to live on the streets... not just for a day or two, but for YEARS they lived on the streets. Some had abusive homes that drove them to the streets. Some had families force them to live on the streets and beg. Some had no family at all. Either way, they all had one thing in common... life on the streets. This life consisted of abuse, sometimes drugs, and a true "survival of the fittest" mentality.
BUT God had a plan for their lives. About 3-4 years ago, they were rescued from the streets. They were trained in structure, and given the nurture of Jesus Christ.
But this day, they faced the choice of living in a situation that wasn't healthy for them, or going to the streets. They desired to leave, and were told to go.
And they came to us.
There was no way that our spirit would let them go back to that life on the street, not even for one day.
Yes, you may think we are crazy... careless... or thoughtless. But if you were in my house this weekend, I can promise you a few things:
1. If you didn't know they had lived on the streets, you would have NEVER known. (actually, I'd be honored if someone tried to give me credit for raising these boys)
2. You would have been amazed at the work ethic and respect that NATURALLY flowed from them... truly the fruits of the Spirit flowed out of them.
3. You would have laughed your head off.
4. You would have had the opportunity to have conversations with them about how hard, yet worth it, making life change really is.
5. You would have seen them truly enjoy being around our kids, and you would have seen our kids enjoy having 4 big brothers around the house.
6. Your pantry would be empty.
7. You would see them for who they are... P is the clown, JR is the "tough guy", F is the smarty pants, and E is the super sweet, try really really hard kind of guy.
8. You would see brotherhood at its finest. They keep each other in line, and hold each other to a high standard.
And my favorite memory of the weekend was this:
We went to a pizza joint that we frequent. Our family is there often, and it happens to be where many of the street kids are... begging for food. We've tried to build a relationship with some of the boys there. They know that they can "watch" our car, and we give them dinner. It's our deal. Even our kids give them the food, we aren't afraid... and they've never tried to be rough to them. (now, each other... that's another story) So... here we are... our "family" for the weekend... 4 FORMER street boys. We eat until our bellies are going to explode. We had an entire pizza left (because we really have NO IDEA how many pizza's 4 teenage boys can eat). Before we even mentioned giving it... the boys looked through the iron bars that separated us from the streets... and saw them. I believe they saw what COULD HAVE BEEN in their own lives. They said "can we give it to them?" And of course, we said yes. They each took some food over and gave it to the street boys. (I could have fallen in the floor crying if it wouldn't cause a scene.) I saw the street boys looking as we were eating. They know our boys. Maybe they lived together on the streets. They see the life change. And I believe they want it to. That's the power of the Gospel. What you see in E, P, JR, and F... it's simply the power of JESUS CHRIST in their lives. They will say it themselves. They know truth. And now, they are living it out...
We are thankful that God reunified them with the people who have walked with them through their journey of change. They are in a great place. The best place for them.
I, however, will always treasure conversations that were had... and I am so terribly grateful we were able to be the safety net... and in turn start a wonderful relationship with 4 of the most amazing young men.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and the new has come." 2 Cor 5:17