Wednesday, March 30, 2011

When the day isn't as you planned...

Well, this morning when I woke up... I went to do my usual workout before the kids get up and have some quiet time. It's the key to sanity these days. ha. I was making my mental list of "to dos" for today... "School with the kids, laundry, research some things online, clean the floors, play some games with the kiddos, etc." God clearly had something else up his sleeve.
On Monday, we took E for his 3 year check up. He got 3 shots and one TB skin test. That caught him up on his immunizations and all that jazz from being a bit behind from the first 20 months in Ethiopia. This morning, as I was helping him get changed, I noticed on his leg where the shots had been... I was just giving them a little rub and checking it. Then I thought to check his arm from the skin test... as we were scheduled to go back tomorrow for a read. (for those of you who aren't familiar, they give a little injection under the skin and if it bubbles up or has a red reaction then it is a positive read on the test... I have one every year, after working in mental health for as long as I did) So, I take a look at his arm and it is clearly reactive. "Ok" I think to myself... "this is definitely not normal." Mind you, he had been tested for TB upon arrival in the US and it was negative. I call the nurse line immediately and leave a message on her machine... which she calls RIGHT BACK and wants me to come in. (bad sign #1) They schedule me with another DR, because our regular DR didn't have a spot. I arrive at the clinic to sign in and they said that our DR wanted to be the one to see us (bad sign #2). We get in (and I mean WE... all 4 of us minus the Mr... I'm one of "those moms" that bring all the kids with me to the dr.) And the Dr proceeds to examine the arm reaction and continue to inform me that indeed, E has INACTIVE TB. Here's the important part in all this: INACTIVE. Here is some info on that from a medical website:
People can also be infected with tuberculosis that is not active in the body. Inactive tuberculosis infection is also called latent tuberculosis. If a person has latent tuberculosis, it means their body has been able to successfully fight the bacteria and stop them from causing illness. People who have latent tuberculosis do not feel sick, do not have symptoms and cannot spread tuberculosis. In some people tuberculosis bacteria remain inactive for a lifetime without becoming active. But in some other people the inactive tuberculosis may become active tuberculosis if their immune system becomes weakened - for example by HIV. People with inactive tuberculosis are also called TB carriers.
So... we took him to get a chest X-RAY and it came back completely normal. Because of his long term asthma, he has had chest X-RAYs in the past that were clear... again... him having NO SIGNS of TB. He can't spread it to anyone else. So... while I'm certain this was a little "test" of endurance, it is basically no big deal... He will take a medication every day for 9 months and see the Dr. once a month during that time. If we are away from the Dr for a time period it should be no concern and she will ensure we have the medication we need in case we travel, etc. He isn't contagious... isn't having symptoms, etc. If he finishes his medication, the likelihood of him ever becoming active is practically non-existent. Basically, the Dr. said that he was more than likely exposed either in the transition home he lived in for 4 months or during a hospital stay in Ethiopia where he had pneumonia. Because those were relatively close to the time we brought him home, there hadn't been enough time to "incubate" and therefore we had a false negative. However, the pediatrician assures us that it is completely separate from his asthma issues.
Crazy enough, after almost shedding a "what in the world?" tear at the Dr's office, I just have peace... am thankful it isn't ACTIVE, and just dang glad he's my son. E is one unbelievably amazing kid... with a heart of gold and a smile to kill for... and really one tough kiddo to keep being stuck and prodded and just take it in stride (minus a couple of good screams)...

Friday, March 25, 2011

Romancing my heart...

Lately, I have found myself withdrawn from the "blog" and "facebook" world to really spend more time in the word, prayer, and pouring into my "real life" friendships.... and soon, I know I will be able to share and somehow verbalize what God is doing during this period of "silence."

BUT, just last night I was talking to a sweet friend, who pointed me to the devotional that I had almost missed for yesterday... Jesus Calling. It BLEW US BOTH AWAY, knowing where our hearts both are right now. I'm not really sure why I find myself so surprised when God speaks directly to my heart... but when the God of the universe romances my heart with HIS word, it is almost overwhelming. Just wanted to share these words with you.

This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete. Take time to bask in the Light of My Love. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possess=ion into my care.
You can feel secure, even in the midst of c ataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence. The One who never leaves you is the same yesterday, today and forever. As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand. Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you.
Psalm 89:15 "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence O LORD."
Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever."
Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

Praying I can let go and bask in the LIGHT of His LOVE!

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Last night, on the way home, Z chimed up "Mommy, does ** live in a big house?" We were driving by that neighborhood on the way home, and all the homes were lit up "real nice like" ... it's just one of those neighborhoods that I drive by and my coveting heart kicks in. ;) I respond "Well, yes, bud. He does live in a big house." Z said "Mom, do we live in a big house?" Me: "What do you think?" Z said "No, we live in a small house." He just set there thinking. UGH. Are we seriously having to have this conversation at the ripe old age of "just turned 5?" Of course, I WANT to give him big nice things... and don't get me wrong... He nor any of our children "go without." They are certainly spoiled. I just quickly prayed to myself, asking God to help me use this to teach him about the important things of life. I asked if we had fun in our house? "Yes" AND how God had blessed us with our best friends by living in our house... as they live the next street over. Z saw that we would not have met them if we didn't live in our "small house." Ultimately, Z "gets" (to the best he can in his 5 year old mind) that we trust God to put us WHERE, and it WHAT HOUSE He sees is BEST for us. It might not be the "best" house, but it is the "best us."
Love how today, it's like we didn't even have that conversation... He's back to content. Praying I can be like that... not fixated on what I "don't have" but putting my mind and heart on being content...

Monday, March 14, 2011

Just one of those weeks...

Well, I did indeed fall off the face of the earth... ha. There are just those weeks that if you could fast forward past, or better yet, erase, and move on through life it would just be easier... this past week was one of those. It was filled with some really incredibly hard, hard things. Things that 3 years ago... or 3 months ago for that matter... we would have NEVER dreamed we would be walking through. Through all of this, I have to say that my heart has fallen in love with my husband even more deeply. It's easy to walk side by side in the sunshine, but when you see the man you love give in so many deep ways, hurt in so many deep ways, and at the end of the day still trust and love God deeper than ever... I can't help but stand in awe of the man God has given me. The reality is, tho, that life does indeed begin to place it's pressures, demands, expectations upon our hearts... and to walk in that with grace and peace is kinda hard. Especially when you'd much rather 1. "Tell it like it is" or 2. RUN away or pull the covers back over your head and pretend the day isn't here.
Forgiveness is hard. Courage is sometimes fleeting. Letting other's down is miserable. Loving is a must.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Because it's funny....

Zack LOVES to work puzzles. Just now, he sat down and worked a couple. One was of horses, and the other of marine life. He gets the marine life one and says "Mommy what is this guy?" I look and inside think "of course he had to ask what this one was" and SAY "It's a sperm whale" He looks funny and says "What's a sperm?" My answer? "A Whale." The end. moving on.

I hope it goes that smoothly 7 years from now ;)