Monday, November 10, 2014

When the Tooth Fairy doesn't come...

I'm sad,  mommy"... were the words I woke up to this morning.  "Why?" I asked in a foggy daze at 5:15 a m.  "Because the tooth fairy didn't come."  

Heart sinks.

Epic Fail. 

Chalk another one up for me and it's only 5:15 am. 

"How did I forget?"  

"What kind of mother am I?"

"My parents never forgot."

And the guilt cycle begins before the rooster crows and the day begins.  If you're a mom, you know the cycle... that deeply felt searing guilt.  right?  

For me, as any mom, the guilts and failure stack pretty high.  

I've robbed the kids from their grandparents

They are missing out on so many traditional "American" things

My light skinned blondies are going to get skin cancer in this African Sun

I never got around to.... doing that craft... giving out the ice cream.... reading that book (the list is endless)

They have to share me with so many other kids

I couldn't cut it homeschooling and doing ministry

and now... THE TOOTH FAIRY DIDN'T COME!!!

What's next?  "The Christmas Santa forgot?"

As moms, we all beat ourselves up over so many things.  I only listed about 1/1000 of the guilts and failures I have... pertaining to 3/5 of my kids.  2/5 have a list all to themselves which is probably much longer and more complicated... 

So often times I just think... "Why me?"  Why did God choose me for this job?  Why did He plop me in the middle of Africa when I was already in over my head as a mom in my own culture, with things I was comfortable and familiar with?  Then... HOW am I going to do this well?  How do I erase the memory "the tooth fairy forgot me" ... and all the other times I fail.  

So, it's true... in our weakness HE is made perfect.  In every failure, there is an opportunity to point to one who never fails.  In our second guessing, we can cling to his sovereignty.  

So, today... it's 6:15 am... and I will get up... "shake it off" in the wise words of Taylor Swift... fill myself with his TRUTHS... and pray for the ability to SEE opportunities to love my kids well and let God's grace cover all the past failures... and many failures to come.  
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3 comments:

  1. Mitzi,
    I can so relate to failing! I know I "signed up" for some of the things that are on my plate, but my flesh is so weak!! I pray for you whenever you come to my mind, and check your blog frequently for more blogs and updates :-)
    May God continue to strengthen you to live the life He has called you to! Your obedience and honesty shine the love of Jesus very brightly to the whole world, including your children!
    Hugs!
    Amy

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  2. Oh, Mitzi! You are so precious. It seems that no matter what we forget or just don't do right, the guilt for moms is the same. But I so appreciate that this reminded you of Christ's strength, of our need for Him. Thank you for your blog. Love you and your family!
    Joy

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  3. You are a dime, Mitzi! I know how it can be unfulfilling for a parent to not be able to accomplish these duties. But I think it’s great that you celebrate these little things in life that affect your kid’s life – which is an amazing trait of being a mother. Thanks for sharing this with us. All the best!

    Anita Campbell @ Throgs Neck Dental

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