That time I was the Commercialized Mother... (in my dreams)

As Mother's Day has been approaching, I've been tuning my ear to all of the advertisements... they are everywhere... TV, Radio, my mailbox. 
This is my first Mother's Day in the US in 5 years.   (Maybe I hit one on furlough once, but that doesn't count because furlough is simply your brain fried.) 
Is it just me or are these advertisements really putting on the pressure?  
It could be the fact that when I think about my mothering (not to be confused with my MOTHER), I'm in a struggling phase right now.  

It's ok.  If you have only come across the sweet messages, let me help you with some of the ones I've come across. 
"Life doesn't come with a manual, It comes with a Mother."  (So, I guess that means I should know what I'm doing or have answers to stuff???)
"A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them." (Unless you are a teenager and then you fear her arms... )
"The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother."  (So, my heart is HIS greatest masterpiece. eish... I'm thinking it's pretty messy. Ok, yeah, maybe once upon a time.)
"Most mothers are instinctive Philosophers."  (Great, now I have to be intelligent)
"Moms are like buttons- They hold everything together."  (Well, that explains why everything is a mess)
"Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving."  (It's ok moms... who aren't having this blissful experience... )
"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he created mothers."  (Oh Good, now I'm a substitute for God Himself.) 
Anyone else feeling the pressure?
That loving, kind, mother making that yummy favorite all the time and greeting you with goodness.  
Sigh. 
I"m not that.  


Maybe instead of celebrating some falsehood, I'll simply celebrate the reality.... 
 that we actually MADE it through the year and we are all still TOGETHER.  
I dream of those fantastic commercials actually reflecting my reality. 
I want to be that... eventually. 
But for all of those mother's that don't fit into the commercial version of Mother's Day... You're not alone.  (Plus I keep telling myself that its only a facade. If people actually think they are that good, they need a dose of insight I'm sure. hahahahaha) 
Much love and Happy Mother's Day  to the tired, worn out,  can't find a dang thing,  grumpy,  trying as hard as she can mother,  or aunt, or grandmother, or foster mother... or whatever title you find yourself under.  (because sometimes just that is a mystery, too)   
(And don't soak into the lies, the great thing is that for the children who love you as the mother... you really are like a dream to them)

Oh deceiver...

Oh deceiver... you are good at what you do. 

You run thoughts & replay words through the mind ...
creating... 
doubt
insecurity
frustration
isolation
the second guess
the not enough
Yes, you are the author of all of these things.  
And Oh.. deceiver... how you use the ones we love the most to wreck havoc on the pieces of a broken heart. 
Yes, you are good at what you do. 
But you see.  I see you for what you are.  
You have always been the liar.
The doubt causer.
The one who isolates his prey in hopes for a kill
Just to capture one down trodden soul on their journey
Oh deceiver, I know your plan.  
You've been using it since the beginning.  
And yet, somehow, power is given over to your stupid little lies. 
But you see, deceiver, I know The Truth.  
And that... that is what will set me Free.