Sunday, November 19, 2017

I dare you to move...

It's funny.  After yesterday's post I thought, oh boy... I haven't come very far from the sounds of it. 

But I started thinking, and reflecting about this journey in its entirety.  

From the outside in, it might not look so bad.  From my inside out, it seems like a rare breed of chaos and hope swirling around.  Some days, one... some days the other. 

I realized recently that I had allowed my emotional state to be ridden with what was actually sin.  

 self loathing.... 

inaccurate guilt

self pity

loss of joy for today

lack of thanksgiving

grumbling and complaining 


irritation and frustration (not the table flippin' kind)

making excuses for my thoughts and emotions as if I had good reason

All of this.  Sin
What's interesting is this... since my post yesterday, I've had other women tell me they struggle with the same thought patterns BUT resulting from different circumstances.  Oh you crafty little devil. 

Our minds are powerful.  I know this because I work with people on the mind-heart connection. That's why Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy even exists. Thoughts impact behavior. Thoughts impact emotions that impact behavior. 

And so I've just left that to run wild for the sake of "processing" and in the name of "grief" ??

A sweet friend shared with me the lyrics to a song yesterday.  Several phrases struck me, but this one:

"I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor." 

Ok, ladies.  Whatever our circumstances.... maybe it's moving across the country or world... 

maybe its that opportunity that hasn't come... 

or that child that just didn't .... 

or the loss of someone that feels so unfair... 

or the loss of yourself as you raise those babies at home... 

or a body that doesn't work the way it once did... 

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. 

Again. Today.  And again tomorrow.  And the next day... and the next day... and the next... 

It feels exhausting to wake up and find yourself BACK ON THE FLOOR! ha. 

I can't speak for you.  But for me, my thought life has kept me there. 

 It's time for me to confess them, catch them, and take them straight to truth. 

We are in a battle.
  We get to choose our weaponry. 
 I've stunk at that more days than not.  

But Powerless should never be in us. 

 For me, its a direct result of choosing the wrong weapons.

In Deuteronomy 1, Moses was pointing to the Israelites that the journey through the wilderness was an 11 day journey.  Ya'll.  ELEVEN DAYS!!!!!!!!!  And yet they wondered for FOURTY YEARS!! 

Their mind and hearts were in bondage although free!! 

 Sound familiar?!? 

Good Lawd!  I don't want this to take 40 years! 

"You have dwelt long enough on this mountain...  Behold I have set a land before you; go and take possession of the land." Deuteronomy 1:6-8 

He is saying "lift yourself up off the floor... get off the mountain...I've promised you a land to take, why are you still wondering around aimlessly up here?" 

This verse gave me a quick kick in the behind.

 I DO NOT want to be the one wallowing in my own miserable head for one more second. 

The Battle is real.

 But as I told my friend last night... It's on like Donkey Kong.  Cause I'm tired of this powerless, exhausting, overwhelming, earth dwelling mindset.  

So for today... this very morning... I'm lifting myself off the floor and throwing my belt of truth on... putting on my armor (against my OWN MIND)... and praying non-stop that  moment by moment... today... I will live in His power to live in Freedom already given to me.  

 I dare you to move....