Thursday, September 6, 2012

what you don't see...

Behind the blog posts, FB status's, and emails... there's so much that goes on that never makes it to the pages for everyone to see.  Most of the time that is due to the pace of life we keep.  However, there has been one area of our life that I have kept private for a reason.  It's not private if you visit, because you can see it for yourself. It's hard to write about something so emotionally charged, difficult, and especially when things are unclear.  But... the smog is rising and God is moving.  So... now's the time to write. 
Most of you know our hearts for adoption.  It walks hand in hand alongside our calling to orphan care.  We walked away from our 2nd adoption process when we knew God was asking us to move to Zambia.  
It wasn't long after arriving in Zambia, God began to place certain kids in our path that just "felt" different than the rest to me. But, after moving to a foreign country with so much need... one can't really trust their emotions.  Over time, a boy named Ngosa, started to bond with our family.  He was a single orphan, who at the time had not seen his mother in 5 years.  His father was dead.  His grandmother was seeking Lifesong to care for him as she was aging and becoming unable to do so.  Over time, our family resumed care for Ngosa.  As of now, he has been an unofficial part of our family for 10 months.  
Ngosa is smart (in the top 4 in the class... and #7 over all grade 7s in our area).  He's 14 years old... and one of the funniest kids I've ever met.  We've been walking a road with him that has NOT been easy.  But, we've seen a boy who was fearful, hoarding, and acting in every way to "self-preserve"... to a boy who is loving, thoughtful, helpful, and trusting.  We haven't arrived, but we've come a LONG way. 
In addition to Ngosa, about 5 months ago, a double orphan in our program began to once again bond with our family.  Paul has floated from place to place after his parents died years ago. Paul is now with us, as well. He says he is 13, but his grandmother swears he can't be older than 11.  (haha)  He is such a tender boy, who is smart but has so much hurt in his life. We are still in what I would call a crucial/critical stage with him. 
I've hesitated to even write this.  Why? 1. Criticism.  2. Misunderstandings 3. Prevention of Friends and Family Freak out.  4.  Our journey has been RAW and we haven't been in a place to share. 
We NEVER set out to foster ANY children older than our own.  
We FULLY understand the risks involved... and are taking appropriate precautions. 
We KNOW this may not make ANY sense to many of you... financially, emotionally, and so on. 
But what we can say is this... We know we are called to play a key role in their lives. 
We see how they are responding to love, nurture, structure, and Godly discipline... and how God is making us... in some strange way... a family. 
It has been one of the hardest years of our lives.  But what we can say is the clouds are lifting... we feel like we have not only been adjusting to life in a new country, with so many responsibilities... but also walking through the difficulties of an older child adoption... without the perks of a celebrated, actual adoption.  
For now, things are going well.  We're finding our balance and God is answering prayers.  What the future holds, we don't know, but we know that God is faithful and He loves us, our 3 littles, and the boys.
All I can say is that our house is full of laughter, homework, laundry, adventure, and funny smells.  But we certainly have 5 of the best children in all of the world.  


  1. The Leventhals love you guys! Press on!

  2. Chills, prayers, hopes to meet them, joy..... ALL AT ONCE! We love you guys!

  3. Mitzi, I simply love your heart. Thank you for sharing. Braden informed us already that we need to adopt again. Lol. You are right, in a foreign country, when you are surrounded by so much need, you can't trust emotion.

  4. Exciting to see how God will work - praying!

  5. Just prayed for you... I Get it! God does things in our hearts and shows us things
    that the whole world might not understand... But we know that we know, what we must do!

  6. Mitzi,
    It is truly amazing the work you are doing...the lives you are touching, the hearts you are holding, and amazing parenting to your babies in what would be chaos to the rest of us. God gave you such a wonderful ability to give love and guidance to those in need and in search of something so much more. You are truly an angel, my friend! (I have known that since our days with our Barbies!) I am so glad that I have found your blog to share in your new adventures and watch the Lord's work in progress. Continue the great work and know that you and your family are in my heart and prayers!
    Much love,

  7. How beautiful! The Lord forms families in ways that are so beyond what we would ever imagine and it's a hard, crazy, beautiful thing!

  8. I'm way behind on blog reading (and everything else in life), but I was so encouraged by this post. I often pray for your family and Lifesong Zambia and have been wondering if you're fostering kids. Not that it matters what I think, but I think it's wonderful. Praying for a wonderful Christmas at home for you all!