1. Drive not 1, but 2 minivans
2. Let my kids eat in the car
3. Go days without a shower
4. Wear knee length shorts
5. Know more words to the veggie tales songs than Brittany's new album
6. Wipe someone's face with my spit
7. Fix someone's hair with my spit (hey, I never appreciated the spit before!)
8. Allow a much younger, smaller human to make me feel self-conscious (Z walked in on me changing the other day and said "wow, i never want to see that again." Please tell your daddy that)
9. Go potty and tie someone else's shoe at the same time
10. Drink after someone else's backwash in my drink
11. Eat leftovers off of someone else's plate
12. Prefer Chick-fil-A over the Cheesecake Factory
13. Actually bite off some of my food, take it out of my mouth, and give it to someone else to eat.
14. Suck snot out of someone's nose with an overrated vaccuum machine. (ok, maybe it's not overrated)
15. Never, EVER, share my queen size bed with 4 people.
Don't judge me... join me! What about you?
-Wipe a little spit up off your shirt and deem it perfectly acceptable for public appearance!
ReplyDelete-Go potty with someone sitting on your lap!
-Use baby powder on the front of my hair to hide the 'days without shower' evidence, so I can get to the grocery store
-pick someone else's nose
-pick someone else's earwax... with my finger.
Oh my... motherhood is so glamorous, yes?!!
Made me laugh out loud for real and I have also done most of these things too! Brooks has said, "Why does this jiggle?" when he started playing with my upper thigh! :-/ Thanks Mitz... so funny!
ReplyDeleteHere are a few...
* Say, "Because I said so..."
* Bribe to eat well.
* Use a ziploc baggie to hold pee... and then put it in my purse. Ick!
* Use a wipe for my "shower" that day.
* Carry a toilet in my car.
* Go potty while talking on the phone AND wiping someone ELSE's hiney! lol...
-Wipe spit up off my baby's mouth and wipe it on my jeans.
ReplyDelete-Put one child on the potty while breastfeeding the other.
-Multi-tasking while breastfeeding has become a talent.
-Embrace the family bed concept whether I liked it or not.
-Bribe someone to go potty in the potty.
-Pull over in a random field on a road trip to let my son pee. (He thought it was so fun he asked to do that again several times after that too to which I refused.)
Is it bad that I have done/do some of these things and I'm not a mommy yet? I guess teaching could sort of be like mommy-ing. I do get called mom about 10 times a day... :)
ReplyDeletehahaaha! LOVE IT!
ReplyDelete