Friday, August 27, 2010

When I am weak...

But He said to me (Mrs. McB) " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness , so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Cor 12:9-10

I am sitting here in a hospital room with E. He has severe asthma and had to be hospitalized with steriod IVs given to help regain control of his breathing. I am growing to HATE asthma... but that will be another post. Over the last 24 hours, I have had moments of teatering... no... falling off the edge of sanity. Forget the last post... with the travel, loss of dimples, etc. It's been the last 24 that I have once again seen Jesus literally catch me while I'm falling off the cliff... I have had a really hard time seeing E suffer so much. The breathing treatments are nothing, the X-rays, monitors, etc. don't bother me. But the 15 minute IV saga, combined with E's fear through the roof now resulting in him not wanting to take meds orally and him fighting this is about to break my heart. I hate seeing fear in him, this is what breaks my heart the most. I can't hardly stand to type it.
While all of this is going on, I'm not able to think clearly. As E's fear increases, so does mine. "How can I care for him better?" "what are we missing?" "Is this how it will always be?... and if so "Can I really provide the care my children need on top of another child with special needs?" "Is our financial boat sinking?" Ok... your heart rate is rising too! haha. BUT GOD... has stopped me in my tracks and asked if I would acknowledge HIS strength in this... and If I would remember HIS faithfulness in this. And I'm choosing yes... even though I FEEL like "loosing it." Here's the verse "I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart. I will recount all of your wonderful deeds." Ps. 9:1
With that, How can I be anything but grateful for all HE has done for me and my sweet family? It is when I take my eyes off of Jesus that my heart becomes "I" and fear centered. I know I must take care of myself... and I trust that God is going to provide that time and a way for this to happen. I also trust God is going to provide a plan that I can continuously pour His love through me into my husband and children. I am weak... and I'm bragging... know that if you see anything good or strong in me... be assured it is HIM.

On a lighter note.... let's add this to my collection of "are all those kids yours" pile.... Our nurse yesterday who was doing all the paperwork for the admission to the hospital asked about a million questions. She was nice, and I think I was. Then she asked "are you his legal guardian?" um... Yes, AND his mother. then I go to explain we adopted him from Ethiopia...blah blah blah. Then she asked "Do you have papers?" um... yes. with me.... NO. I don't carry my children's birth certificates around... shoot me. Lucky for her... she didn't press the issue. haha. BUT THEN... I see her select options on My information and she selected "Foster Parent". Um... I nicely explained... No... I'm not his foster parent, I'm his MOTHER. Ok, so she changes it, and I can tell she is getting nervous. Nevermind the poor child needs more attention with his breathing than his records, but ok. THEN she asks, "How many siblings does he have?" I said 2... one brother and one sister. And don't you know that girl put ONE STEP BROTHER AND ONE STEP SISTER in the record. I just laughed at this point. It was either that or cry (because this followed the 15 minute IV saga).... Really, is adoption that confusing? Shaking things up when I don't mean to....

stay tuned....


  1. Oh my friend... I am so sorry he has to be in the hospital. :( Poor sweet baby. It is SO scary, but he has YOU, DADDY, and our most comforting heavenly Father with him! This too shall pass, and thank you for your words of wisdom straight from the Spirit!
    *Hugs* ~ Tams

  2. Oh girl! I am praying for you and the heart ache of watching E scared, I know how hard that must be! There is seriously nothing worse then watching your kid be fearful and not be able to do anything about it! Stay strong, you're doing awesome! Are you here or still in TN? What do you need? Seriously... if you're here- name it and I'll bring it or take care of it! Promise! Ugh to the hospital ladies comments while filling out your paperwork... the things to come in my life! I love you and am praying for you tonight!

  3. Oh, Mitzi.. I'm so, so sorry. Watching your child suffer feels like your skin is melting off. Thank you for your honesty. It is so encouraging to see you putyour true heart out there in your trials. We are with you in praying that E is delivered from this asthma. Believing He will be. Remember how in the ' pit with a lion' book how he talks about turning your pain into a ministry? You are ministering to others as you walk through all of your various difficulties and challenges.. and those darn comments! People need to ZIP IT!

  4. I hope you are home with E. I was so touched by your phone call. Thank you for praying. Overcomer is still very weak, but back at the foster home. Please continue to pray! I will do so for you as well. Yes, you will be able to provide the care each child needs in your home and God will fill in the gaps. He always does! Reading your blog lets me know we have some interesting days ahead in this journey! Love you. Please let us know when you are back in TN. We'd love to see you. Oh and another couple from church filling out adoption paperwork. Whoo-Hoo!