Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Am I really that hungry?

Mmmmm.... pizza
Chocolate ( not biased... chocolate cheesecake, chocolate candy, chocolate pie....)
chips n' dip
Pei Wei

Those are the things I LOVE to eat... I CRAVE them. I've never been terribly disciplined in my eating style. I come from a long line of Little Debbie Lovers. So much so... that yes, my MOM did run her car into a field while trying to bend down into the passengers floorboard to reach one of those delish little fudge rounds (our faves)!!! Hilarious. I come from the South, where food is just a part of culture... good pies, cookoffs, and Sunday dinners at Mamaw's. Food=Happiness where I come from.

Recently, that's not really done me so well. ha. Apparently things are slowing down and taking root in places I didn't anticipate. So, I've found myself asking God (because I can't do it without Him) to show me the things about my eating that are unpleasing. Now, I'll be the first to say that He without a DOUBT wants us to eat and enjoy! None of the things listed above are sins. That's true!

Here's what I'm learning, though. I've recently been taking this issue before the Lord, and being very disciplined and committed to a certain style of eating for a bit now. What I'm noticing is that really, I probably eat 20% because I'm actually hungry and the other 80% is for alternative reasons: to be Social, to make me "feel" happy, and out of habit (well, it's time to eat!). The idea that really, I'm not THAT hungry, crazed me out! I "THOUGHT" I was hungry... but I'm really not. hmmm... It hit deeper.

Could it be that I THINK I'm hungry for Jesus when in reality it could be mixed with ALMOST the same alternative motives that my actual eating has? Am I serving/worshiping to be social with others? Am I studying the Word because it makes me "feel" a certain way? Do I attend church because "it's that time to do it?" How much of what I do comes from PURE hunger for the Lord. Nothing else. All the other things: community, feelings of peace & joy, etc... are all BI-products of the purest form of worship:
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled." Matt 5:6

The hunger comes first... as the motive... and the filling comes from the Lord. Sometimes I just go straight for the filling...

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